Election Day is terrifying! Your candidate might lose! What's worse, a candidate you don't like might win! Fear not, Democratic friends, our handy guide will help you get through the stress of the next twenty-four hours. (It better not be more than twenty-four hours.)
Eat a hearty breakfast. If it's not something Michelle Obama would want you to eat, that's a jinx.
Playing basketball isn't just a fun way to distract yourself from those slow ballot-counters in Florida. It's a way to commune directly with Barack Obama's spirit.
If you start feeling anxious, breathe into a solar panel. (Government funding optional.)
Every Ohio vote counts. Take a moment to send your favorite Ohioan a case of tomato juice. Ohioans love tomato juice — why else would it be the state beverage?
If the cable news frenzy starts to give you a headache, just cover your eyes. WWJBD?
Pray. Sure, yoga class counts.
Relax and remember: This guy's on your side.
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Tags: Adam Levine, Barack Obama, Democrats, Election Day 2012, Election Day Survival Guide, Food, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama