• Indecision's Official Election Predictions

    Nate Silver gets to be special for one more day

    Gonzalo Cordova: Obama will win the Electoral College and Mitt Romney will win the popular vote, marking the first time during this entire election that Mitt Romney has been considered popular.

    Lisa Beth Johnson: My Election Day prediction is a "choose your own adventure" kind of thing. You walk into a voting booth with two options: President Obama or Mitt Romney. If you choose President Obama, when you walk out of the polling place you will find a $100 bill that I definitely did not put there. If you vote for Mitt Romney, when you walk outside you will get stung by a wasp and flail wildly, causing you fall into a pit of vipers that I also definitely did not put there. Final answer is Obama over Romney, 281-257.

    Dennis DiClaudio: Barack Obama with 303 electoral votes in the study with the candlestick. Hold on, I lost my train of thought halfway through that sentence. Let me start again. I predict that Romney will fail to take either Ohio or Virginia Avenue, and then his top-hat token will land on Park Place, but only after Obama has built three houses there. Romney will probably flip the board and storm out of the room around midnight.

    Dan Poppy: Constitution Party candidate Virgil Goode will unleash his November surprise to great fanfare. I mean, he will literally unleash a swarm of dragons while the sound of trumpets blasts through the air. His winged minions will breathe holy fire on what should have been his kingdom, and he'll pick up like a half a percentage point or so in Virginia.

    Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will crisscross the nation on Election Day, leaving no senior citizen unturned in their search for votes. Sadly, like so many before him, Romney will forget Ohio exists. In a brazen act of confidence, Barack Obama will shred his carefully-crafted speech about what's at stake in this election and just cold recite the Quran from memory.

    Joe Biden will enjoy a fantastic slice of pie.

    Erik Bergstrom: Ron Paul's secret plan will come to fruition as millions of voters add him as a write-in choice. He will still be defeated, write-in-wise, by Mickey Mouse and Slim Shady. Obama will win in the continental U.S., while Romney will dominate the offshore vote. After his ticket's victory, Joe Biden will celebrate by jumping his motorcycle over Romney's campaign bus as Mitt wipes away human-like tears with one of Ann's Welsh cakes. (Erik is the man behind our daily Snap Shots photo galleries, which document the 24-hour news cycle and which are available exclusively in our free iOS app. He is also the recipient of the 2012 Indecision Prize for Investigative Speculation About Ron Paul's Secret Plan.)

    River Clegg: President Obama will win Ohio, a state whose electoral power will cause the seat of national government to be moved there. Romney will lose all the states he lives in. Idaho, in a shameless grab for attention, will overwhelmingly elect Count Chocula.

    Mary Phillips-Sandy: With the polls neck-and-neck, it's all going to come down to Ohio. Or maybe Pennsylvania. Possibly Florida or Virginia. But mostly Ohio. Did you know the real reason Ohio carries so much weight in national elections? It isn't about the Electoral College at all. It's because George Clooney was born in Cincinnati. Ask Nate Silver, he knows. (Um, Obama by double digits, but a lot of Prius owners are in for an emotional rollercoaster tonight.)

    Ilya Gerner: Obama will win 281 electoral votes to Romney's 257. Liberals will claim this means Obama has won the Electoral College, while conservatives will suggest that blue states have been "over-sampled." The night's biggest surprise will be the close margin in New Jersey, whose residents, desperate for gas of any kind, will take kindly to the Romney campaign's delivery of baked beans to their Sandy-devastated region.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Election Day 2012, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Ohio, Ron Paul, Virgil Goode

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.