INT. LONGWORTH HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING, WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY.
Rep. TIM SCOTT (R-SC) sits at a desk, a copy of Roberts Rules of Order splayed open, a gavel in his hand. It is January 2013.
Tim Scott: Oyez, oyez, oyez. The organizational meeting of the Republican Congressional Black Caucus will now come to order.
Taps gavel once.
Scott: The members* will rise and say the pledge to the flag.
Scott sighs, rises to face the flag and proceeds to say the pledge, emphasizing the word "God" to spite any liberals who may be listening in.
Scott: The first business in order is a reading of the minutes. The secretary will read the minutes of the previous meeting.
Scott forces his voice an octave higher and reads the minutes of the last meeting, at which he and Allen West discussed just how big of a communist Debbie Wasserman-Schultz really is. He shakes his head mournfully as he reads the comments of his former colleague.
Scott: The next business in order is the nomination and election of officers. First we will hear the report of the nominating committee. The chair will then take nominations for each office from the floor. After nominations, we will vote on the officers by ballot. Will the chairman of the nominating committee give the report? Mr. Scott…
Scott takes a huff from a helium balloon, changing his voice again.
Scott: Mr. Scott, the nominating committee has nominated the following: Tim Scott for Chairman, Tim Scott for Vice Chairman, Tim Scott for Secretary, Tim Scott for Treasurer.
Returning to normal speech.
Scott: Are there further nominations for any office? Hearing none, nominations are closed for Chairman, Vice Chairman, Secretary and Treasurer. At this time, I move to suspend the rules and appoint these individuals to their respected offices by unanimous consent.
Scott: Hearing no objection, the motion is agreed to. The next business in order is new business. Is there any new business?
A solitary tumbleweed rolls mournfully across the room.
* Utah's lone Democrat, Jim Matheson, survived a strong challenge from Mia Love, who would have become a member of this elite caucus. Allen West currently has 157,782 votes (49.6%) to his Democratic opponent's Patrick Murphy's 160,328 votes (50.4%) and is calling for a recount. Should the result hold, Tim Scott (R-SC) will be the only Republican African American member of Congress.
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Allen West, House of Representatives, Republicans, Tim Scott