• John Kerry to Be Named Secretary of Lost Dreams

    John KerryThere's a reason that John Kerry was chosen to play Mitt Romney in President Obama's debate practice earlier this year. The two share many qualities.

    Both men are gangly awkward quasi-liberal Massachusetts millionaires who lack the capacity to speak to fellow members of the human species. That's a given. But it's also a little too obvious. To really see what they have in common you have to look deeper. Into their souls. Into their hopes and dreams and greatest desires.

    And then, once you've found that one shimmering achievement, the one thing for which they've been pining more than anything else, watch as President Obama slaps it from their grasp with a loud resounding "Denied!"

    President Obama is considering asking Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) to serve as his next defense secretary, part of an extensive rearrangement of his national security team that will include a permanent replacement for former CIA director David H. Petraeus.

    Although Kerry is thought to covet the job of secretary of state, senior administration officials familiar with the transition planning said that nomination will almost certainly go to Susan E. Rice, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations…

    But administration officials, one of whom described Kerry as a "war hero," said his qualifications for the defense job included not only his naval service in Vietnam but also his knowledge of the budget and experience in the diplomacy that has increasingly become a part of the defense portfolio.

    Also, let's not forget how valuable his speaking voice and orating skills will be as an enhanced interrogation technique. That could really make a difference in water-poor climates.

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Department of Defense, John Kerry


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