Ron Paul — who did not seek re-election to the House of Representatives in 2012 — is scheduled to deliver "part one" of his congressional farewell address momentarily. Yes, there will be several parts. Yes, it will be long. Beyond that, the speech's contents are anyone's guess, but we can set out the betting odds on what the Internet's favorite crusader for liberty will say and do…
2:1 - Manages to scare any children who may be watching C-SPAN with the mere inflection of his voice when he says the words, "central banking."
2:3 - Speaks for longer than 45 minutes.
1:1 - Defends the marijuana legalization initiatives in Colorado and Washington. Sounds all too sober while doing it.
1:4 - Explains that "part one" of his farewell address refers to chapter one of Ludwig von Mises' Human Action, which he will read in its entirety.
1:5 - Explains why he has not participated in the Congressional pension he calls "immoral," but mentions that considering his over 20 years of public service, he'd accept payment, "in straight up gold, bro."
1:6 - Unveil Ron Paul 2016 campaign!
1:10 - Wears an Austrian flag pin.
1:50 - Announces to Ben Bernanke he knows where his family lives.
1:75 - Makes impassioned plea for peace and an end to the military-industrial complex but makes an exception for an invasion of Costa Rica, saying "You know why, you fuckers," leaving his fans baffled.
Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: House of Representatives, Ron Paul