• Louie Gohmert Nominates Newt Gingrich for House Speaker

    Newt Gingrich will not be president of the United States. He also, it turns out, won't be reprising his role as the Speaker of the House.

    You, along with 99.9999% of the nation, might have taken that second part as a given. But not Rep. Louie Gohmert

    "You don't have to be a member of the body to be speaker," Gohmert, of Texas, told the caucus during the closed-door meeting, according to a source inside the room.

    His motion was not seconded by any other members, and House Speaker John Boehner was reelected by a voice vote, followed by a standing ovation.

    I like to imagine a resigned Rep. Gohmert hanging back after the meeting ended and then walking over to open a coat closet in which Newt Gingrich sits hunched down alongside a bunch of forgotten umbrellas. "They didn't go for it," he says, as a hand slaps him across the face. A single tear shimmers down his cheek as he watches Gingrich storm off to drown his sorrows in Tiffany's trinkets. He flops into an empty wooden chair and sobs quietly to himself. Why, he moans, do we allow the ones we love to hurt us so?

    That's what I like to imagine. It's also probably relatively close to reality.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: House of Representatives, John Boehner, Louie Gohmert, Newt Gingrich, Republicans

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.