According to the latest popular vote tallies, Barack Obama's gifts and the New Black Panther Party's GOTV efforts earned the president 65,331,508 votes compared to 60,698,920 votes for Mitt Romney. Those on the losing side of this result can find solace in the Five Best Counties for Conservative Republicans, where they may be cocooned miles away from the nearest NPR-listening, Prius-driving, Obama-voting liberal.
For the winners, however, there's the realization that 60 million votes is still a ton of people. Are there any places in America where a Democrat can be away from the Romney-voting hordes and experience the same level of blissful epistemic closure as their conservative counterparts? Yes. Yes there are.
5. Shannon, South Dakota: Most Democratic County in the U.S.
Very much a good news, bad news situation. On the one hand, it's home to some of the country's most important historic sites. On the other hand, all of these sites memorialize the wholesale massacre and dispossession of America's native populations. Shannon, which is home to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, gave 93.4% of its vote to Obama and 6% to Romney. One of the poorest counties in America, it's the perfect home for the liberal who wants to find out why poverty is kicking ass in the War on Poverty.
4. Bronx, New York: Most Democratic Urban County/Borough
About 30,000 Bronx residents voted for Romney, but they are safely quarantined in the eastern quadrant of the borough. The other 91.2% of voters turned Da Bronx deep blue. I'm pretty sure its motto Ne cede malis is Latin for "We have that arson problem under control," and as it turns out, you CAN get there from Park Slope (take the F to 14th Street, transfer to an uptown 2).
3. Washington D.C.: Most Democratic County That Isn't a County
90.91% of the nation's capital voted for Obama. Must be all those trips he took to Ben's Chili Bowl.
2. Prince George's County, Maryland: Most Democratic Suburban County
P.G. County, as the cool kids call it, delivered nearly 300,000 more votes for Obama than for Romney. As the wealthiest majority-African-American county in the nation, whose residents are disproportionately employed by the federal government, P.G. is all about enlightened self-interest.
1. Jefferson, Mississippi: Most Democratic County in the Deep South
This Mississippi Delta community, where per capita income hovers near $10,000 per year, voted for Obama by a margin of 89 to 11%. It's almost as if Democrats don't really have a problem winning the working-class vote, unless you accept the media's habit of pretending working-class votes from West Virginia and eastern Tennessee count double.
Photos by Robert Alexander/Archive/Getty Images, Francis Temmen/AFP/Getty Images, Bruce Bennett/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Martin H. Simon-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images, and Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Democrats, Liberals, Maryland, Mississippi, New York City, South Dakota, Washington DC