As Ilya reported earlier, Sad Mitt Romney has been wandering around his home(s), probably on the brink of starvation because "There's no aide to make his peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches."
Which begs the question, does Mitt Romney even know how to make peanut butter and honey sandwiches?
In case he doesn't, here's our favorite recipe. Feel free to forward it to him!
You will need:
* Peanut butter
* Remove two slices of bread from the package. Bread. It's probably in the cupboard over there. No, the other one.
* Spread peanut butter on one slice of bread. Use a knife to do this. Not a sharp one, you might hurt yourself, and boy those Internet Twitter bloggers would have a field day then.
* Spread honey on the other slice of bread. Did you know honey comes from bees? It must be nice to be a bee. You get to fly around in the sunshine all day and nobody yells at you for having a fancy horse and contradicting yourself. Bees are job creators, pretty much. Not that anybody cares.
* Mmm, these slices of bread look good. They look as good as those numbers did, those delicious numbers from the internal polls. Pages and pages of numbers that made your mouth water. But numbers lie, don't they? Numbers let you down, just like Latinos.
* Put both slices of bread together.
* Cut the sandwich on the diagonal.
* Get a hold of yourself, man. Don't cry. It's only a sandwich. It's not the country being split in half by a socialist Kenyan Muslim.
* Or is it?
* Ha ha! Terrific!
Serves one sad multi-millionaire.
Photo by Paula Hible/FoodPix/Getty Images
Tags: Food, Mitt Romney