[Madame Secretary's personal smartphone rings, from somewhere deep inside her purse. She pauses the episode of Homeland she's watching and answers.]
Hillary Clinton: Yeah.
Michael Bloomberg: Hillary, it's Mike Bloomberg.
HC: Kinda busy right now.
MB: I know. This won't take long. Hey, you like pizza? You like good pizza?
MB (con't): We gotta mayoral race coming up here in New York in 2013. I need someone to take over for me.
HC: Hmm, okay. I'll give Chelsea a call and see if she's free.
MB: No, no. I meant you. [There is a long pause.] Hillary?
HC: I don't think so.
MB: Listen, you'll love it here. The city's incredible these days. We got Mary Poppins on Broadway. We got Mission Chinese–you ever had kung pao pastrami? Fantastic. We got Lena Dunham. Don't know who she is but I guess she's the new Sarah Jessica Parker, who we also got. We got the Brooklyn Nets. You can transfer to the uptown 6 at Bleecker Street, finally. I got a green-power initiative going, we're figuring out how to generate energy from Donald Trump's ego. Game changer.
HC: I always enjoy a visit to New York, but I'm not interested in your job.
MB: Come on! If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!
HC: Don't sing at me, Mike.
MB: You're into international diplomacy? We got Little Italy, we got Flushing, we got Borough Park, we got Middle East-type folks, we got hip-hoppers, we got it all. Heck, working this job, I even picked up some Spanish myself. Yo soy muy interestedo in el affairs internationalos.
HC: The answer's no.
MB: Wait. Can you at least give me a reason? Why wouldn't you want to be mayor of the greatest city on earth?
HC: I got other plans.
MB: You mean-
HC: That's right. I am absolutely, definitely, one-hundred-percent certain that I'm going to run-
MB: I knew it!
HC: -for another bottle of pinot right now. Girl's gotta relax. Later, pal.
Photo by John Thys/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Hillary Clinton, Michael Bloomberg, New York City