It's been a while since we checked in on the civic-minded Americans who have flooded the White House "We the People" website with petitions to "punch Grover Norquist in the dick" or demand secession for the states in the wake of Barack Obama's re-election. The demand for a redress of grievances has not abated. Here are some of the best–not smartest, not most sensical, just best–recent petitions.
Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.
According to this petition, "the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense" by building this "space-superiority platform." This petition had previously been deleted, but apparently Newt Gingrich has never heard of Kickstarter.
Build a statue of Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan John-117 on the lawn of the White House.
He's the guy from Halo. We are mixing our fictional universes.
Nationalize the Twinkie industry.
If we can have an auto bailout, why not "prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center"?
Give us back our incandescent lightbulbs! We, the undersigned, want the freedom to choose our own lightbulbs.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine as inefficiently as possible.
Invite Ron Paul to the White House for a Policy Meeting and Answer ALL the questions posed by Congressman Ron Paul in his final speech on the House floor, Nov. 14, 2012.
Surely this will take no time at all, given the brevity Paul is known for.
Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images
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