#askpontifex Questions, Answered

The Pope (@pontifex) joined Twitter this week, but according to the Vatican he won't start tweeting until December 12. In the meantime people have tweeted thousands of questions at him, using the #askpontifex hashtag.

Jesus only waited three days to rise from the dead, so Twitter shouldn't have to wait until next week for answers to pressing questions of faith…

#askpontifex Is "infallibility" a vestigial priestly organ from some long-ago time pre-history & pre-common sense?Aren't you embarrassed?

— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) December 4, 2012

Dear Joyce Carol Oates: No. @pontifex is never embarrassed. If he embarrassed easily he would not go out in public wearing the things he does.

Why do you preach about giving up earthly good yet you own a country and a giant gold building? #AskPontifex

— Daniel Hardcastle (@DanNerdCubed) December 4, 2012

Dear Daniel Hardcastle: Technically it's a city-state.

@pontifex #askpontifex #BXVI What is Love?

— MichelArchange (@MichelArchange5) December 6, 2012

Dear Michel Archange: According to En Vogue, "No high powered scholar, high paid by the hour / Could come up with the answers to this complex question." Sounds like @pontifex may not be able to help you.

#askpontifex How do we defend State against Catholics??

— liliana farinetti (@lilianafarinett) December 6, 2012

Dear Liliana Farinetti: A good way to divert invading Catholics is to tell them there's a one-day-only Advent calendar sale… over there.

#AskPontifex Why Chocolate chip cookies have more Likes than God ? @pontifex twitter.com/JWAA/status/27…

— Jesus Was An Alien (@JWAA) December 6, 2012

Dear Jesus Was An Alien: Chocolate-chip cookies are delicious. God is omniscient. There's a difference.

@pontifex How can the Church better minister to people who remain single long after their peers marry? #AskPontifex

— Kevin Adams (@kevinadams2112) December 6, 2012

Dear Kevin Adams: Buy them cats.

Dear @pontifex, what if @tomcruise is right? #askpontifex

— Matt Dodge (@Matt_Dodge) December 6, 2012

Dear Matt Dodge: You are going to Hell.