According to NORAD, which inexplicably ignored its prime function of tracking Santa Claus in favor of monitoring missile launches, North Korea successfully orbited a satellite last night. Just eight months ago, a humiliatingly unsuccessful missile test left the 20-something North Korean leader Kim Jong-un claiming that this was the first time his rocket has failed to launch. Sure, buddy, happens to everyone.
But despite claims of success from North Korea and partial confirmation from NORAD, there are good reasons to be skeptical of just how successful last night's ballistic test was.
1. Even if you know nothing else about the country, remember North Korea is technically called the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. That's three lies in the country's name. Hardly inspires confidence.
2. That time the North Korean press reported Kim Jong-il had shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf should create some skepticism of their media.
3. According to an official biography on a since-disabled North Korean state website, Kim Jong-un's father Kim Jong-il never defecated. Politifact rates this claim "pants full of shit."
4. Would the "Sexiest Man Alive" do something as damaging to his reputation as launch a ballistic missile? Okay, maybe.
5. During the famine of the 1990s, North Korea produced a documentary about a man whose stomach exploded when he ate too much rice. Their government is evil, but it's creatively evil. "Conquering space" is too cliched for them.
6. Again, shouldn't NORAD be tracking Santa? What do they know about satellites?
Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Kim Jong-un, North Korea, Science & Technology