How Mitt Romney Would Have Been Inaugurated

A 407,000 vote swing in four states on Election Day and this wouldn't be Barack Obama's big day. Instead, we'd be covering the inauguration of one Willard Mitt Romney.

Remarkably, things wouldn't be that different.

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As long as he was allowed to serve as chair of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, a Romney inauguration would still be the single greatest day of Chuck Schumer's life. So many microphones, and just one nasally Brooklynite allowed to speak into them.

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The photographs of the presidential family would just as adorable, with images of Romney's 2,428 grandchildren becoming fodder for cute GIFs. A relaxing game of Jenga would replace coffee at the White House as a pre-inaugural ritual.

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Yes, some things would have been different. Out: Beyonce. In: Kid Rock.

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Out: Kelly Clarkson. In: Meat Loaf.

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Out: "The Beast" limousine. In: Rafalca.

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Out: wine. In: The best gosh darn peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches you've ever tasted.

Previously
Fox News Concerned About Calories in Inaugural Luncheon
Tweet Roundup: President Beyonce

Tags: Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, Food, Inauguration, Mitt Romney, Music