As every pedant knows, today is Presidents' Day, not President's Day. In other words, we have mattress sales in honor of all our chief executives, not just the good or famous ones.
Today, we even honor the presidents too obscure to be Googled by schoolchildren forced to learn American history:
Millard Fillmore: According to Google Trends, the 4th-Least-Googled President (Worldwide, 2004-present)
Avoiding rock bottom status only by virtue of a Millard Fillmore Hospital in upstate New York, Fillmore also ranks near the bottom of historians' presidential rankings, but sits near the top of the Funny 19th Century Names chart.
Benjamin Harrison: 3rd-Least-Googled U.S. President
Somewhere, there's a Benjamin Harrison fanatic who will write to tell us that the twenty-third president is "huge on Bing."
Chester A. Arthur: 2nd-Least-Googled U.S. President
According to his obituary, "No duty was neglected in his administration, and no adventurous project alarmed the nation." And now no one remembers him, which is why most of our subsequent presidents have at least invaded a small country or two.
Rutherford B. Hayes: Our Most Forgotten President
If only his beard had been a little crazier.
Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Google, History, Internet, President's Day