Finally, someone has combined the glamour of the civil service, the enchantment of stamps and the allure of utilitarian apparel into one irresistible package.
The U.S. Postal Service has announced plans to release its own men's fashion line and at last, give every American the chance to be as foxy as a mailman.
The new product line, branded "Rain Heat & Snow," may sound like a brilliant way to save the USPS from its $16 billion deficit, but we have some suggestions for making a good thing even better:
Release a "Gloom of Night" product line. Otherwise identical to other USPS brands, it can be marketed toward the ever-growing goth demographic.
(Photo by William Thomas Cain/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Forget the USPS's plan to use "technology to create 'smart apparel' also known as wearable electronics." Technology is what got the Post Office in trouble in the first place. Being able to send an email with your underwear is not going to help.
Instead, create a line of "smart apparel" that's smart enough to fix the agency's pension shortfall.
(Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Better yet, create a line of smart apparel that launches electromagnetic attacks against consumer electronics. Watch the first-class mail revenues flood in. (h/t Newt Gingrich)
(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Barring that, sell this hat. It's a pretty great hat.
(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Tags: Fashion, Post Office, Postal Service