With Hillary Clinton racking up a record number of frequent-flyer miles during her stint as Secretary of State, there's almost no way for John Kerry to visit more countries than she did. Unless he invents some new ones! Perhaps his first destination will be "Kyrzakhstan," a country Kerry invented while thanking U.S. diplomats for their work in -stan-ridden Central Asia.
Some things you may not know about Kyrzakhstan:
1. The State Department does not have relations with the Kyrzakhs and edited the transcript of Kerry's speech to disguise its existence.
2. Kyrzakhstan's best chance for recognition should come from Uzbeki-beki-beki-bek-stan-stan. Herman Cain could be ambassador to both.
3. Not existing does not keep Kyrzakhstan from having a terrible human rights record.
4. The Kyrzak national flag features a manticore standing next to a unicorn standing next to a natural gas well.
5. We will stop laughing when Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan merge into one country.
Tags: Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Secretary of State, State Department