During a speech at the National Governors Association's winter meeting, Dr. Mehmet Oz identified a serious but also puke-inducing health problem: the shortage of gubernatorial sexytime:
Oz also encouraged governors to lead by example by modeling a number of healthy behaviors…Noting that increased sexual activity leads to longer lifespans, Oz called on all governors to start having sex twice a week. No governors responded to Oz's suggestion about their sex lives.
Governing is stressful and time-consuming, so here are a few tips to help our nation's governors get their groove back (ew, ew, ew):
Rick Scott (R-FL): You may think the Waffling Wheelbarrow position requires a lot of flexibility, but once you've accepted new Medicaid funds after promising to fight Obamacare, you can flip into pretty much any position there is.
(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images/Getty Images)
Bobby Jindal (R-LA): People say that trimming the fat will make your executive branch look bigger, but public schools aren't the sexiest place to cut. Just have some confidence.
(Photo by Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Rick Perry (R-TX): Gun control is a sensitive topic for Texans, but premature discharges can ruin even the most perfect unions. You can solve this problem in three easy steps, if only we could remember the third one.
(Photo by Jonathan Gibby/Getty Images News/Getty Images)
Paul LePage (R-ME): In the interest of public health, we will not make you think about Paul LePage having sex. Hope it's not too late.
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Paul LePage, Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Sex