• 8 Things Shorter Than Rand Paul's Filibuster

    Rand Paul

    Speaking on the Senate floor for 12 hours and 52 minutes is an impressive accomplishment for both Sen. Rand Paul's (R-KY) mouth and his bladder.

    It's even more impressive when you consider all the things he could have been doing instead:

    12 hrs, 52 min: Rand Paul's filibuster of John Brennan's nomination to be CIA director, prompted by Brennan's support for the Obama Administration's drone program.

    12 hrs, 6 min: The amount of time it takes to watch the entire special extended Blu-ray edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

    12 hrs, 5 min: The record for juggling three objects, achieved by David Slick in North Richland Hills, Texas (USA! USA! USA!).

    11 hrs, 5 min: The longest match in tennis history. John Isner defeated Nicolas Mahut in the 2010 Wimbledon tournament, but both players were allowed breaks for eating, sleeping and peeing, which sounds like cheating.

    10 hrs, 29 min: The longest customer-service call in the history of Zappos. Imagine how much longer Paul could have spoken if he had more comfortable shoes.

    10 hrs, 10 min: Flight time from Washington, DC to Moscow, where instead of combating the national security state, the national security state combats you.

    9 hrs, 58 min: The world record for the longest time spent masturbating. This honor is held by Todd Campbell of South Wales, who jerked himself into the record books at the for-charity Masturbate-a-thon.

    8 hrs, 6 min: The longest extra-inning baseball game in MLB history, in which the Chicago White Sox defeated the Milwaukee Brewers in 25 innings.

    8 hrs+: How long it took one Florida voter to cast his ballot in Miami-Dade County.

    Just think: Paul could have spent his time taking a trans-Atlantic flight and watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy while masturbating… and he still chose to speak in defense of Americans' basic rights.

    Now that's dedication.

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Civil Rights, Drones, Filibuster, Rand Paul, Senate


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