After more than three decades in the Senate, Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) announced that he will not seek re-election in 2014, leaving behind two important vacancies: the chairmanship of the Senate Armed Services Committee and the title of America's Most Disheveled Statesman.
Let's meet the nominees for the latter job:
In the far left corner, our first nominee: Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), the sincerely frazzled socialist who would be attracting stares in your local public park as he railed against Wall Street cronyism, if he hadn't been elected to the Senate… where he rails against Wall Street cronyism.
And in the other left corner we have Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH), the wrinkliest populist the Midwest has to offer.
Ugh, this is impossible. We need a tie-breaker. Is there a photo that shows one of these gents in something other than his everyday garb?
Winner! Congratulations, Sen. Brown. May you
stand tallslump awkwardly as America's next Rumpliest Senator.
Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Ibid., Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images, and Douglas Graham/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images, respectively
Tags: Bernie Sanders, Carl Levin, Senate, Sherrod Brown