• The Best of Barack Obama's Gridiron Standup

    barack obama

    For only the second time in his presidency, Barack Obama graced the Gridiron Club and Foundation dinner with his comedic presence. Behold the best jokes a government speechwriter's salary can buy, as told by the president:

    Best Joke Explaining Why There Were So Many Bad Jokes: "My joke writers have been placed on furlough. I know a lot of you reported that no one will feel any immediate impact because of the sequester. Well, you're about to find out how wrong you are."

    Best "Oh, We See What You Did There": "Now I’m sure that you’ve noticed that there’s somebody very special in my life who’s missing tonight, somebody who’s always got my back, stands with me no matter what and gives me hope no matter how dark things seem. So tonight I want to publicly thank my rock, my foundation. Thank you, Nate Silver."

    Best Trolling of Bob Woodward: "We noticed that some folks couldn't make it this evening.  It's been noted that Bob Woodward sends his regrets, which Gene Sperling predicted.  I have to admit this whole brouhaha had me a little surprised.  Who knew Gene could be so intimidating?  Or let me phrase it differently — who knew anybody named Gene could be this intimidating?"

    Best Trolling of a Republican Senator: "With all these new faces, it's hard to keep track of who is in, who is out. And I know it's difficult for you guys as reporters. But I can offer you an easy way of remembering the new team. If Ted Cruz calls somebody a communist, then you know they're in my cabinet."

    Best Self-Deprecation: " And in the words of one of my favorite Star Trek characters — Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise — 'May the force be with you.'"

    Best Joke Not Told by the President: "What chance does a skinny guy with a dark complexion have of being elected president?" -Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal


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