Latest Posts

G. Xavier Robillard
  • GOP Governors Blamin' Palin

    Sarah Palin gave a press conference today at the GOP governor's convention in Floria, a venue where she all of the sudden is surrounded by less than sympathetic Republicans.

    Much of the conference has been an in-depth look on what went wrong in 2008, aided by those useful sports metaphors…

    Former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who started the race in former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney's corner but later worked for McCain, chimed in: "What happened here is the party and John dropped Sarah into the ninth inning of the World Series three runs down."

    Perhaps a more complete analogy would be that you only played Little League before, you've never really mastered the rules of the game, you ignore the batting coach's bunt signs and you play for the Chicago Cubs.

    Originally slated as a 20 minute event, Palin's time with the press was cut short by Governor Rick Perry, who took the mic away from her.

    Isn't it weird how wherever she goes people in her party want her to stop talking? Doesn't matter: you can't stop the maverick from going rogue.

    As to speculation on running in 2012, Governor Palin has shown that we will still have plenty of crazy-homeless person syntax after President Bush leaves office…

    "That is based on my philosophy that it's crazy to close a door before you know what's even open in front of you," she said.

    That would be a door, Governor.

    Tags: Florida, John McCain, Sarah Palin
  • Peru Tempts Obama Family With Ugly Incan King Dog

    It's the pride of Peru. The Dog of Kings. It's hairless, has giant ears, is occasionally toothless with good looks that make the average rodent feel better about itself. It's the Peruvian Hairless, and it just might go to the White House.

    In a craven election promise President-elect Obama offered his daughters a puppy but since Malia has allergies, and the new Administration refuses to cave in to the Pharma lobby and give her medicine, they need to find a suitable, hypoallergenic dog. Or just get the girls a Roomba, which is cute and helps clean the house.

    Enter the nation of Peru, which has offered the Obama family a four-month-old Peruvian Hairless puppy named Machu Picchu. The hairless breed of dog was revered by the Incan kings of old and is said to even mitigate asthma and arthritis.

    "They do not cause any type of allergy and are very friendly and sweet," said Claudia Galvez, 38, director of the Friends of the Peruvian Hairless Dog Association.

    Should they go with the dog Malia's allergies will be fine, because Machu Picchu is ugly enough to clear the room.

    But, how would the Obama transition team handle rejecting this most awesome offer? Explain that accepting it…

    * Would show favoritism to Peru and jeopardize trade talks with Colombia.

    * Sends the wrong message about preferential treament to big-eared beings.

    * Looks like an overt endorsement of Taco Bell.

    * Would alienate the Furries whose support has been so critical to the Obama victory.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Malia Obama, Michelle Obama, Peru, Puppies!, Sasha Obama
  • Bank Bailout Discriminates Against Auto Makers and Other Non Banks

    Remember that tiny little $700 Billion bailout for the troubled banking industry? The one where the Treasury Department is supposed to buy out toxic assets? Such as Ben and Jerry's flopped toxi-licious flavor "Everybody Loves Radon?"

    Detroit's Big Three automakers have some toxic assets for you too, but you might know them by other names, like the Chevy Tahoe, the Ford Expedition and the Jeep Grand Cherokee.

    Democratic leaders in Congress are pressing the Bush Administration to help bail out the Big Three automakers, who are hemorrhaging money right now and high-fiving themselves for continuing to make giant SUVs as gas prices hit $4/gallon. It's not that they are too big to fail, but rather that they are too "In a State That Went for Obama by 16 Points" to fail…

    "In order to prevent the failure of one or more of the major American automobile manufacturers … Congress and the Bush administration must take immediate action," stated House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

    Democratic leaders are attempting to draft a compromise to allow emergency funds, up to $50 Billion, to be given to the auto industry, but any bailout would include government oversight and limits to executive compensation.

    There is no word on whether the companies would required by law to stop making giant crappy gas pump-fellating vehicles that nobody wants.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Economy, Michigan, Nancy Pelosi
  • Obama-Bubba Coalition Attempts to Save Joe Lieberman

    The Huffington Post reports that both President-elect Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are working behind the scenes to rescue Joltin' Joe Lieberman from being stripped of his chairmanships, shaved of his lordly mane and deprived of the use of the word "Joementum".

    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid wants Lieberman to be punished, since he broke a promise and waged a negative campaign against Obama.

    Lieberman has made the situation a little tense: He "insisted that he will split from the Democrats if his homeland security position is stripped."

    Obviously, becoming a Republican would almost certainly be a great career move for Lieberman, since he'd lose seniority, be in the minority and find himself surrounded by people who disagree with him 75% of the time.

    On the other hand, it may be handy for Democrats to have a sanctimonious prick around the caucus. Should you have any future sex scandals, or you just want to encourage diversity by keeping a token Republican on your team. Plus it's a neat way to draw fire from the party's progressive wing away from Obama.

    Bill Clinton is reportedly "making calls on Sen. Lieberman's behalf," but the Clinton camp has denied it.

    It's not surprising that Bubba and Barack have bound common cause: Both succeeded a Bush, both are known as black presidents, and both were instrumental in derailing Hillary's presidential ambitions.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Harry Reid, Joe Lieberman, Senate
  • Oregon Senator Gordon Smith Joins Unemployment Line

    AP has called it

    Jeff Merkley has unseated Republican Incumbent Gordon Smith. 82% of precincts have been counted in the Beaver State.

    This victory puts the Democrats in control of 56 votes in the Senate, which means they'll still need four Republican votes to crossover to drum out Senate felon Ted Stevens (R-Attica), should he win.

    Stevens still has a slight lead in the 220,000 ballots cast, which is about one voter from every buck in he received in housing renovations.

    Tags: Gordon Smith, Jeff Merkley, Oregon, Senate