Latest Posts

Ilya Gerner
  • John Kerry Is Boring in Every Language

    John KerrySecretary of State John "Human Ambien" Kerry's facility with French is well-known, even if he keeps his cunning linguistics hidden when he's on American soil.

    But did you know he spoke German?

    Kerry: [in German] Very good, thank you. All is well. Your shoes are fantastic, yes? [...] No, no, I can only speak a little German. But I would say, it is wonderful to be back herein Berlin. Thank you. And now I will speak in English because it's easier. [end of German]

    And Italian?

    Kerry thanked Prime Minister Mario Monti in Italian for his "spirit of friendship."

    And Norwegian!?

    [Kerry] won praise from his Norwegian counterpart Espen Barth Eide, who said after talks at the State Department that Kerry "can even speak quite impressively Norwegian phrases."

    Eide added, "Secretary Kerry made a very good poi– Zzzzzzzzzzzz…"

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: France, Germany, Italy, John Kerry, Norway, Secretary of State
  • March Madness: The Papal Names Tournament

    With all the challenges facing the next pope, the last things he needs to do is worry about selecting his regnal name. That's why we've done the work for him (click to enlarge); selecting the best papal names of all time through the highly scientific process of saying all 80 previously-used titles aloud until somebody started giggling, "Ha ha, you said Pope RomANUS!"

    Personally, I'm hoping for a Pope Sixtus VI.

    Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Catholic Church, Religion
  • Sarah Palin Is Writing a Book About the War on Christmas

    Sarah Palin is coming out with a new book called A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas. You betcha it'll be good, considering the author and the CAPITALIZATION in the title for EMPHASIS, the hallmark of all thoughtful literature.

    Per Palin, "This will be a fun, festive, thought-provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas."

    HarperCollins announced the book will criticize the "over-commercialism" of Christmas and also that it will be available in November, just in time for the Christmas shopping season.

    Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

    Tags: Books, Christmas, Sarah Palin, War on Christmas
  • The Louisiana Voucher School History Quiz

    Think you know American history? Not until you've been through a Louisiana school you don't, you tie-dyed, tree-hugging socialist.

    For proof, just see if you can answer these questions, based on a textbook they're using in Louisiana's taxpayer-funded voucher schools.

    Read More »

    Tags: Education, History, Louisiana
  • The Rules of Rep. Peter King Fight Club [VIDEO]

    The first rule of Rep. Peter King (R-NY) Fight Club is that you never stop talking about Peter King Fight Club. "Boxing is good self-defense," said King after his bout with former New York kickboxing champion Josh Foley. "Being in the public light, you never know when you might need it."

    The second rule of Peter King Fight Club is that you commit a minor ethics violation when you join Peter King Fight Club. (The watchdog organization CREW criticized King for favoring one local business over others when participating in charity boxing events.)

    The third rule of Peter King Fight Club: once you see Peter King in boxing shorts, you can never unsee it.

    Tags: Peter King, Sports