Latest Posts

Ilya Gerner
  • The Best of Barack Obama's Gridiron Standup

    barack obama

    For only the second time in his presidency, Barack Obama graced the Gridiron Club and Foundation dinner with his comedic presence. Behold the best jokes a government speechwriter's salary can buy, as told by the president:

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    Tags: Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal
  • Ron Paul Invades Canada

    Aww, how cute! Turns out Canada has its own get-together of conservative activists. It's a lot like America's CPAC, except it's called the Manning Networking Conference and there is approximately 180 percent more apologizing.

    Best of all, instead of inviting asshats like Donald Trump to the party, their special guest speaker this morning was Ron Paul. Obviously, the best thing about Ron Paul in Canada is everything. The other highlights?

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    Tags: Canada, Ron Paul
  • Who Will Replace Carl Levin As America's Most Rumpled Senator?

    After more than three decades in the Senate, Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) announced that he will not seek re-election in 2014, leaving behind two important vacancies: the chairmanship of the Senate Armed Services Committee and the title of America's Most Disheveled Statesman.

    Let's meet the nominees for the latter job:

    In the far left corner, our first nominee: Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), the sincerely frazzled socialist who would be attracting stares in your local public park as he railed against Wall Street cronyism, if he hadn't been elected to the Senate… where he rails against Wall Street cronyism.

    And in the other left corner we have Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH), the wrinkliest populist the Midwest has to offer.

    Ugh, this is impossible. We need a tie-breaker. Is there a photo that shows one of these gents in something other than his everyday garb?

    Winner! Congratulations, Sen. Brown. May you stand tall slump awkwardly as America's next Rumpliest Senator.

    Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images, Ibid., Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images, and Douglas Graham/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images, respectively

    Tags: Bernie Sanders, Carl Levin, Senate, Sherrod Brown
  • Glenn Beck Does the Glenn Beckiest Thing Ever

    If you have never seen Glenn Beck in action, he's done you the favor of creating a segment that captures his je ne sais crazy so perfectly that you need never watch another episode again.

    There are tears. An imaginary Lady Liberty. And: mouth to mouth with an American flag.

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    Tags: Flags, Glenn Beck, Guns
  • Mitt Romney Lands on His Feet

    The Dow Jones closed at a record high yesterday. Wall Street bonuses are up. And get this: after six years of searching in vain for a government job, Mitt Romney finally found a place in the private sector. America, we are back, baby!

    Romney will be working for his eldest son, Tagg, at the investment firm Solamere Capital. Yep, working for his own kid. A man with a six-year gap on his resume probably isn't going to find work in the wanted ads, so, you take what you can get.

    But wait, Romney already has a pseudo-job on the Board of Directors of Marriott International. How will he find time to work with Tagg?

    A person with knowledge of the deal tells NBC that Romney is planning to work with Solamere for one week a month.


    Sure, it's been a while since Romney has been in the finance game, but starting him off as a week-a-month temp is just cruel.

    Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/GettyImages/Getty Images

    Tags: Mitt Romney, Tagg Romney