Speaking on the Senate floor for 12 hours and 52 minutes is an impressive accomplishment for both Sen. Rand Paul's (R-KY) mouth and his bladder.
It's even more impressive when you consider all the things he could have been doing instead:
Tags: Civil Rights, Drones, Filibuster, Rand Paul, Senate
Every freedom-loving American knows the only defense against a big, overreaching government is guns. Lots and lots of guns.*
There's just one problem. It turns out that some free Americans don't like owning guns. Enter Nelson, Georgia, a small community north of Atlanta that could soon require every "head of household residing in the city limits" to "maintain a firearm, together with ammunition therefore."
To recap, governments that force you to purchase deadly weapons are fine. It's only a problem if they start jamming health care down your throat.
Next, this town will try changing the state motto to "Georgia: Come for the Peaches, Stay for the Irony."
And you better do what they say. They all have guns.
* Or voting, if you're lame.
Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Georgia, Guns
The Harlem Shake, born in 1981 as a dance that involves pivoting the shoulder in weird directions, was murdered today. It was 32.
Having enjoyed a recent surge in popularity on YouTube, the meme was killed by the campaign of Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) when it posted this video, the most normal part of which is a pink tutu-wearing man.
The Harlem Shake is survived by "Y U NO Guy," the Obama "not bad" face, and that dumb horsey dance.
In lieu of flowers, politicians should learn that they all look like this (barely SFW) when attempting to make viral videos.
Tags: Mitch McConnell, YouTibe
CPAC is like Burning Man for conservative activists. Only instead of wacky costumes and insane worldviews, there are lapel pins and insane worldviews.
But what does it take to get invited?
Being a popular Republican governor of a blue state? Nope. Chris Christie of New Jersey was denied a speaking slot this year, his punishment for refusing to spit in Barack Obama's general direction after Hurricane Sandy.
How about being a popular Republican governor of a swing state? Ha, no. Virginia's Bob McDonnell was deemed too electable to grace CPAC with his well-coiffed presence.
Instead, CPAC is getting crazy person of note Donald Trump. Maybe the event's planners are angling for their own season of "Celebrity Apprentice," but even so, some conservatives think it's a yuuuuge mistake:
Did CPAC do anything blitheringly stupid yet today? I know it's early.
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) March 6, 2013
Trump again. Can we timestamp this? No one is allowed to deny any longer that the conservative movement is anything but a mail-order scheme.
— Michael B Dougherty (@michaelbd) March 6, 2013
A problem on the right is making heroes out of our enemies' enemies. Trump isn't a conservative hero, nor is Woodward (or Dick Morris or…)
— Matt Lewis (@mattklewis) March 5, 2013
There's still time to invite Unskewed Polls Guy, CPAC!
Photo by David Becker/Stringer/Getty Images
Tags: Conservatives, CPAC, Donald Trump, Twitter
Look, if ACORN wanted to avoid getting its corpse repeatedly kicked by the U.S. Congress, they should have killed some civilians in Iraq and renamed themselves Academi. Instead they're stuck in the darkest timeline:
March 22, 2010: ACORN, an umbrella organization of community organizers that provided lots of figurines for Glenn Beck's fear-diorama, announces it will disband. Later that year it does just that, closing its state affiliate offices and filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
December 5, 2012: Despite not existing, ACORN is blamed by 49% of Republicans for stealing the 2012 election.
Today: A short-term budget bill sponsored by House Republicans includes language to defund ACORN, which continues to not exist.
April 2013, probably: House Republicans take a strong stand against an appropriations bill that would allow the National Institutes of Health to study unicorn farts and manticore tears.
Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Tags: ACORN, House of Representatives, Republicans