Latest Posts

Ilya Gerner
  • 8 Things Shorter Than Rand Paul's Filibuster

    Rand Paul

    Speaking on the Senate floor for 12 hours and 52 minutes is an impressive accomplishment for both Sen. Rand Paul's (R-KY) mouth and his bladder.

    It's even more impressive when you consider all the things he could have been doing instead:

    Read More »

    Tags: Civil Rights, Drones, Filibuster, Rand Paul, Senate
  • Georgia City to Make Gun Ownership Mandatory Because Freedom

    Every freedom-loving American knows the only defense against a big, overreaching government is guns. Lots and lots of guns.*

    There's just one problem. It turns out that some free Americans don't like owning guns. Enter Nelson, Georgia, a small community north of Atlanta that could soon require every "head of household residing in the city limits" to "maintain a firearm, together with ammunition therefore."

    To recap, governments that force you to purchase deadly weapons are fine. It's only a problem if they start jamming health care down your throat.

    Next, this town will try changing the state motto to "Georgia: Come for the Peaches, Stay for the Irony."

    And you better do what they say. They all have guns.

    * Or voting, if you're lame.

    Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Georgia, Guns
  • Mitch McConnell Murders Harlem Shake Meme [VIDEO]

    The Harlem Shake, born in 1981 as a dance that involves pivoting the shoulder in weird directions, was murdered today. It was 32.

    Having enjoyed a recent surge in popularity on YouTube, the meme was killed by the campaign of Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) when it posted this video, the most normal part of which is a pink tutu-wearing man.

    The Harlem Shake is survived by "Y U NO Guy," the Obama "not bad" face, and that dumb horsey dance.

    In lieu of flowers, politicians should learn that they all look like this (barely SFW) when attempting to make viral videos.

    Tags: Mitch McConnell, YouTibe
  • Conservatives Discover That Conference of Awful People Is Awful

    CPAC is like Burning Man for conservative activists. Only instead of wacky costumes and insane worldviews, there are lapel pins and insane worldviews.

    But what does it take to get invited?

    Being a popular Republican governor of a blue state? Nope. Chris Christie of New Jersey was denied a speaking slot this year, his punishment for refusing to spit in Barack Obama's general direction after Hurricane Sandy.

    How about being a popular Republican governor of a swing state? Ha, no. Virginia's Bob McDonnell was deemed too electable to grace CPAC with his well-coiffed presence.

    Instead, CPAC is getting crazy person of note Donald Trump. Maybe the event's planners are angling for their own season of "Celebrity Apprentice," but even so, some conservatives think it's a yuuuuge mistake:

    There's still time to invite Unskewed Polls Guy, CPAC!

    Photo by David Becker/Stringer/Getty Images

    Tags: Conservatives, CPAC, Donald Trump, Twitter
  • Dead ACORN Is Not Dead Enough for House GOP


    Look, if ACORN wanted to avoid getting its corpse repeatedly kicked by the U.S. Congress, they should have killed some civilians in Iraq and renamed themselves Academi. Instead they're stuck in the darkest timeline: 

    March 22, 2010: ACORN, an umbrella organization of community organizers that provided lots of figurines for Glenn Beck's fear-diorama, announces it will disband. Later that year it does just that, closing its state affiliate offices and filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.

    December 5, 2012: Despite not existing, ACORN is blamed by 49% of Republicans for stealing the 2012 election.

    Today: A short-term budget bill sponsored by House Republicans includes language to defund ACORN, which continues to not exist.

    April 2013, probably: House Republicans take a strong stand against an appropriations bill that would allow the National Institutes of Health to study unicorn farts and manticore tears.

    Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

    Tags: ACORN, House of Representatives, Republicans