In what can only be described as an effort to remain relevant outside of karaoke bars, Tom Petty thrust himself into political news today, asking Michele Bachmann — who has been playing Petty's 1977 hit "American Girl" during her campaign events — to stop…
When the newly minted Republican presidential candidate left the stage in Waterloo, Iowa, after making a nationally televised speech to announce her candidacy, Petty's track "American Girl" could be heard playing her off. But that might be the last time this happens. Yesterday Petty's manager asked Bachmann's team to not use the song again.
How serious is Petty taking the matter? His people issued Bachmann's with a 'cease and desist' letter from publishers Wixen Music Publishing, who don't want voters under the impression that he supports the GOP candidate.
Of course, this is terrible news for Bachmann, who uses nearly all of Tom Petty's song library to subtly communicate her ideologies to voters.
Songs like 'Don't Come Around Here No More," which expresses the candidate's views towards immigrants, "Don't Do Me Like That," which highlights her feelings towards homosexuality, "Free Fallin," which conveys her ideas about the ideal state in which governments should exist, and of course, "Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes)," Bachmann's self-affirming ode to her own campaign.
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Michele Bachmann, Music, Primaries, Republicans, Tom Petty
Did you know The Onion has never won a Pulitzer Prize?
The watchdog group Americans for Fairness in Awarding Journalism Prizes (AFJAP) does and they're joining forces with Glenn Beck's tears (as well as host of international, national and fictional political figures) in an effort to right this grave injustice.
Won't you consider joining them in their struggle?
It's about fairness…
Tags: Glenn Beck, The Onion
Looks like Newt Gingrich has been going out of his way to keep the puff-up ratio between his face and résumé directly proportional…
As of Tuesday morning, Gingrich’s biography on his campaign website included this: "He is also the longest-serving teacher of the Joint War Fighting course for Major Generals and taught officers from all five services as a Distinguished Visiting Scholar and Professor at the National Defense University."
However, when The Huffington Post called up National Defense University hoping to scoop up his syllabi, reading lists, and whatever else he produced as a "professor," NDU spokesperson David Thomas had this to say…
"Gingrich has never been a professor at the university. He taught no courses, kept no office hours, graded no papers. Thomas explained that Gingrich had simply guest lectured at the university for years and had only been given an honorary Distinguished Visiting Scholar Certificate."
Now, it's important to note that Gingrich was an actual professor before he entered politics, so the fact that he felt the need to trump up a fake professorship at a college no one has ever heard of really does make you wonder what other accomplishments he's inflated over the years. Luckily, Indecision was able to obtain a copy of his CV from our "man inside" the Gingrich campaign, Here are some of the questionable entries…
Tags: Education, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans
Chris Christie Doesn't Come Down to Where You Work and Knock Legitimate Questions About Cutting School Funding Out of Your Mouth
Here's a fun clip from a Q&A session with New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Be sure to note how Christie goes out of his way to find out this woman's name before he tells her to go fuck herself. That's just good etiquette right there! Too bad he probably cut funding for the finishing school that taught him to do that…
Tags: Chris Christie, Economy, Education, Money, New Jersey
Rick Perry's aides are working hard to determine what logistical challenges the three-term Texas Governor would face in entering the 1950's Phone-Booth-Stuffing Contest that has become the GOP Presidential race…
"Among their considerations is whether Mr. Perry has enough time to raise sufficient cash, which generally requires personal contact with donors and fund-raisers."
I'll be honest, I'm surprised his aides have identified "having enough time to raise cash" and not "wanting Texas to secede from the Union" as Perry's logistical challenge, because "logistically" speaking, secession would render Governor Perry a non-U.S. citizen and therefore the scariest political candidate a GOP voter could ever imagine.
So yea, Ol' Perry's got some bigger fish to deep-fry, and if I were him, I'd "Reverse Gingrich" (fire) my current staff to make way for some aides that can actually address my issues head-on, help me move past the GOP nomination and onto my inevitably unsuccessful Presidential run.
Tags: Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas