Latest Posts

John DeVore
  • The Bad News: Taser Injustice, Terrorist Cells and God Hates Dog


    Tasered To Death: Justice in Tennessee is a curious thing. A jury recently found that police did not use excessive force when they tasered a man nineteen times, killing him. The 21 year old victim was tripping on LSD, and acting "strangely" outside of a club when he was repeatedly zapped by cops. I would hate to find out what exactly constitutes "excessive force." []

    Amatuer Terrorists On The Loose: The only good news is that the quartet of would-be car bombers caught in New York City are not members of any known terrorist groups. They're just four whack-jobs with a plot. The bad news is that they were committed enough to try and pull the caper off. But then there's good news again: they're stupid, and were busted. But wait! More bad news: they might not be the only lone whack-jobs with lethal delusions of grandeur. []

    Crazy Man Beats Dog: "Hey Dude, it's me God. First things first — you're God too. We're both God. Got it? Secondly, the dog next door? The one barking all the time? That dog is the devil. Since we're God, we need to deal with the devil. So here's my suggestion: grab a cinder block, and crack the devil in it's snout." []

    Lorena Bobbit Redux: Here's a standard romantic story: boy meets girl, boy cheats on girl, girl nearly bites boy's junk off. Actually, this is a cautionary tale. Or maybe a horror story? Definitely a potential Lifetime Movie, not to mention total bad news, especially if you're the Belgian with the wandering eye and the savaged manhood. []

    Tags: Terrorism, The Bad News
  • The Blog Hole: Rove Hearts Obama, Hybrid Senators and Re-tweeting History

    Doomed To Re-Tweet It: Did you watch Obama's historic speech on national security? Want to read a detailed, nuanced analysis of said speech? Didn't think so. Instead, here's a link to Rich Lowry's twitter account. The National Review blogger and writer chops up his opinions on Obama's ideological about face into easy to consume, 140 character nuggets. At the very least, you won't get intellectual indigestion from reading it. []

    Hot GOP-on-GOP Action: Here's another theory about why the GOP is self-destructing very publicly, and in real time, courtesy of Rod Dreher. This new theory comes with a new buzzword — "jerrytayloring." Which refers to the game of "who's more conservative" that those in the right keep playing with one another. The moment any pundit or GOP operative questions one of the party's icons, they get bum-rushed and accused of not being conservative enough. []

    OMG, Karl Rove Hearts Barack Obama: Or rather, Rove supports Obama's tentative embrace of Bush Administration national security policies. One man's flip-flop is another man's reasoned reconsideration of the facts. So now, officially, politics has gone down he rabbit hole: is the President just Bush Lite? A political hack full of empty campaign promises? The liberal backlash is brewing, you can hear progressive fanatics sharpening their long knives. []

    Hybrid Car, Hybrid Senator: Dana Milbank was there as Republican Senator Orrin Hatch sat behind the wheel of a plug-in hybrid Hummer H3, and what ensued was hi-larious. The 75-year old didn't know how to drive the confounded, newfangled hippiemobile! Ha! But give the 75-year old conservative some credit: many of his colleagues believe global warming is a hoax, and wouldn't be seen trying out the future of the automotive industry. []

    Tags: Barack Obama, Cars & Vehicles, Karl Rove, Orrin Hatch, The Blog Hole
  • The Bad News: Denture Theft, Gun Safety Absurdity and More Cheney


    Tooth Fairy Meet Tooth Robber: It's tough economic times for those with a history of poor dental hygiene. In fact, it drove one man to hold another man up at gunpoint and demand his dentures! The story is more complex than that, of course, as such stories frequently are. That's what's terrible about these times, you can't have a simple denture-stealing story anymore. Use to be, the story was "Man Robs Man For Teeth." But now… there's all this nuance. []

    Persians Pursue Revenge Against Spawn of Sparta: Everyone is freaking out over Iran testing a long range missile that could hit Israel and US bases in the region. Everyone should chill out. Iran has a missile, and is on it's way towards developing a nuke. So what? Israel has like, dozens of nukes and superior missile technology, and if Iran tries to attack then… oh right. The Apocalypse. Curses. []

    Dick Cheney And The Death Squads: Some guy who writes for something called "The New Yorker," alleges that then-Vice President Dick Cheney had Pakistani Presidential candidate Benazir Bhutto whacked by a "death squad" because she was revealing that Osama Bin Laden was dead. The US has death squads? Bin Laden is dead? Dick Cheney is a gangster? Look at my head! It's twirling! Wheee! []

    Cruel, Cruel Irony: A pair of Phoenix residents were taught a profound lesson about gun safety, when a friend of them offered to teach them how to properly, and safely, handle a firearm. Then he accidentally killed himself with a gun. What have we learned from this story? First, when making sure your 9mm is unloaded, really make sure it's unloaded. And even if it's unloaded, don't put it to your head. Hey, even if you do, don't pull the trigger. Okay? This man has not died in vain. []

    Tags: Dick Cheney, Guns, Iran, Israel, The Bad News
  • The Blog Hole: California Fail, President Cheney and Gas Guzzlers

    World's Ninth Largest Economy Broke: California voters shot down multiple ballot measures that would have raised taxes, in order to save a state government that is running out of money. And now, state legislators might have to turn to Washington for a little free cheese. Declan McCullagh writes about this potential historic event, a failing state needing a bailout, and asks if the Left Coast is too big to fail, bra. []

    Revenge of the Sith: Dick Cheney is running his mouth not just because he's the Republican party's toughest and most articulate voice but because he wants to be on the GOP ticket in 2012. Reihan Salam proposes this theory, and it's plausible that we could see a Bush/Cheney ticket in less than four years. That would be Jeb "Gator" Bush in the lead role as Cheney's newest puppet. []

    Middle of the Road Warriors: Republicans should stop trying to speak with one voice, and start speaking like the post-apocalyptic warlords they are destined to become. Or so says satirist Frank J. Fleming, who in a conservative-minded humor piece as awkward as karaoke night with Michael Steele, chastises his right wing audience for giving up the fight, and demands they accept that Obama has won, and is slowly destroying America. []

    Gas Guzzlers Save Lives: Raising fuel economy standards is good for the environment, the auto industry, and America, right? Well hold there Buster — Megan Mcardle doesn't think so. In a post that is both provocative and pithy, she writes that, amongst other things, raising fuel economy standards will actually kill people. She doesn't really explain how, but it's true. Because it's written on the Internet. []

    Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dick Cheney, Republicans, The Blog Hole
  • The Bad News: The Sky Is Falling, Porcupine Molestation and Jihad Dot Com

    boom_photo1Global Positioning System Failure: Isn't it nice when the robot voice who lives in your dashboard tells you where to go? Because reading maps waste far too many precious brain cells, brain cells that could be better used surfing the intarwebz for videos of fat tweens falling off things. Unfortunately, your handy GPS system's days might be numbered. You'll know what I'm talking about when all of the satellites that make the technology possible fall out of the sky. []

    Status Update: Jihad! Is nothing sacred to Middle Eastern terrorists with a serious hate on for Israel? Intelligence services for the Jewish state are warning that extremist groups are using Facebook in order to recruit spies inside Israel. They say to beware of suspicious people on the popular social networking site asking sensitive questions like, "Where are the nuclear missiles, Zionist pig?" []

    Death Chip For Your Own Good: Ah, science, will you never learn? A Saudi inventor has unsuccessfully tried to patent a sub-dermal microchip that can track, and if need be, kill an "undesireable." The microchip would be crammed with GPS technology and cyanide. The Saudi in question tried to patent his creation in Germany, but was denied. I give it ten years until this is mandatory in totalitarian states like Myanmar, Russia, and Texas. []

    Stick-y Situation: Poor Porcupine. Florida isn't the most sexually progressive state in the union, but there is one law we can all agree is worthwhile: it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine. This is good for the quill-festooned critter, as well as for the backwoods degenerate with a bottle of moonshine and desire to party. A pair of Russian tourists found out why one should not bugger these woodland creatures, morals and animal abuse aside. Because you might lose your zipper giblets. []

    Tags: Great News/Bad News, Israel, Terrorism