Marvel Universe: Colbert for President — Breaking the Pattern

After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:

Colbert to Voters: "Whose Country Is It, Anyway?"
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

The presidential race continues to tighten up at a time when the very fabric of national stability threatens to fray apart. Less than a day after the House of Representatives outright killed a $700 billion emergency rescue bill to resuscitate the flat-lining economy, they followed suit on a bill to allocate R&D funds toward counter-extraterrestrial technology. It's a pattern of behavior that presidential nominee Stephen Colbert this week argued is no longer acceptable.

"While his opponents talk about attending 'debate camp,' Mr. Colbert has been adamant about his position since he first announced his decision to run for the Oval Office," said spokesperson Tracy Dugan Tuesday in Hollywood, where Colbert had been attending a private black-tie function hosted by Anthony Stark. "Red tape and under-the-table favors have conditioned Capitol Hill to the point where all our leaders ever say is 'no' — even when the measures proposed could help them as much as their constituents."

Emphasizing these points to Stark's other guests in attendance, Colbert stressed that although the measures and bills proposed of late may not be iron-clad to succeed, it's "an essential step" in the right direction.

"Rejecting the approportion of funds toward counter-extraterrestrial defenses is mind-numbingly absurd," Dugan affirmed. "It only strengthens Mr. Colbert's stance that such thinking has allowed the Skrulls to infiltrate positions of power and influence worldwide. We can't simply hope that Earth's defenders will turn these monsters away — especially when the monsters may also be disguised as our protectors.

"Capitol Hill's actions this week only reinforces that our society has taken for granted the notion of super-heroes saving the day from alien menaces," she added. "There has to come a time when Americans must again rely on our elected officials to be our heroes. Mr. Colbert may not be able to fly or fire lasers like an Iron Man, but he's incredibly proactive and passionate about doing what's right for our country. That, above anything else, makes him a hero we need more than ever."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Punisher War Journal #24, on sale now.

This week's image is from Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man #2.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Amazing Spider Girl #24, X-Men: Manifest Destiny #1, Secret Invasion #13, X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Marvel Universe: Colbert for President — Skrull Issue Delays Debate

After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:

Skrulls' "Must-Flee TV" Stunt Puts Presidential Debate on Hold
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

It seems unthinkable even to write this, but there can no longer be any denying that the Skrulls are among us. Furthermore, judging from the individuals who this week simultaneously revealed themselves as the shape-shifting alien menace on our own broadcast waves, they may have been here for far longer than we believed.

Within minutes after multiple celebrities, public figures and television personalities declared that the Earth was now "part of the Skrull Empire," both local and national TV affiliates were flooded with thousands of calls. Concerned citizens throughout the United States nervously inquired if this had been some sort of publicity stunt or hoax, or if television airwaves had fallen victim to subversive terrorist activity.

National networks, perhaps trying to protect themselves from potential litigation, quickly claimed that the source of the problem had not emanated from their end. Sources within confirmed that the Federal Communications Commission was just as quick to state its "unequivocal support" of the networks in this instance, though it did not rule out that the matter would be "thoroughly investigated" in the days ahead.

Unfortunately, this incident has indefinitely put on hold what was shaping up to be a key debate between the presidential candidates. Stephen Colbert had invited his opponents to participate in a nationally televised debate in Roanoke, Va., this weekend. However, as a result of the Skrulls infiltrating the airwaves, all participants have agreed to push the debate back several weeks.

"It's unfortunate, but it's the right move," said Colbert's campaign strategist, David Seperson. "At this time, Mr. Colbert's primary concern is that of a very frightened nation. It was mutually agreed upon among all the hopefuls to reschedule the debate in a week or two, when they could feel more comfortable about re-focusing their political energies back on national matters of interest again."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Uncanny X-Men #502, on sale now.

X-Men: Manifest Destiny #1, Secret Invasion #13, X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Marvel Universe: Colbert for President – Sarah Palin Skrull Controversy

After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:

Palin Comparison to Skrulls Offends Colbert

Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

Naming Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska as his vice-presidential running mate was a controversial decision for John McCain, to say the least. However, some could argue that one of Gov. Palin's biggest supporters emerged not from the floor of the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis, but from a McCain opponent for the Oval Office — none other than Stephen Colbert.

"Mr. Colbert has been greatly troubled over the increasing paranoia that is being conveyed to our nation these days," said Colbert spokesperson Tracy Dugan Tuesday. "No sooner is Gov. Palin declared as McCain's running mate than so-called 'political experts' start questioning the idea that she could be a Skrull. And all of that has come about because of unsubstantiated rumors that these aliens may have been among us much longer than anyone realized, and may have tried infiltrating positions in our government. It's twenty-first century McCarthyism."

Ironically, both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions have only added fuel to rumors that have spread like wildfire. Why else would operatives from S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate) have been in full force at both events, with scanning equipment which they claim can detect the alien shape-shifters? S.H.I.E.L.D claims that they did not detect any Skrull activity at either convention, but the process of having every person in attendance go through these scanners resulted in delays for numerous proceedings and events.

As for McCain's choice of running mate, the announcement created such a national furor that it's little surprise his detractors — particularly in Democratic circles — would attach the notion of "Skrullduggery" to the previously little-known Gov. Palin. And it's a move that a Colbert statement describes as "reprehensible."

"If you want to say that Senator McCain and Governor Palin aren't properly addressing the nation's issues, fine," Dugan said. "If you want to bring up the reports of Gov. Palin's pending deposition for abusing her office for personal favors, that's fair game. But calling her a Skrull when the nation doesn't know the first thing about her, or last week's digitally altered campaign posters that suggest Senator Barack Obama is a Skrull, that's just dirty pool. And Mr. Colbert doesn't play that way."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Amazing Spider-Girl #24, on sale now.

Secret Invasion #13, X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Marvel Universe: Colbert for President – Which Candidate Will Be Toughest on Skrulls?

After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:

Doom with a View?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

As America is suddenly gripped in the midst of another war — one that could decide the fate of all mankind — the U.S. government just can't seem to stop arguing over how to defend its people from shape-shifting aliens that are capable of assuming human guise at any time. Over the past week, emergency proposals to allocate funding toward battling the Skrull invasion have accomplished little more than littering Congress agendas, as House of Representatives and Senate members bicker over the best course of action.

Those who are currently fighting for a future inside the Oval Office, however, have been far more proactive. On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert vocally chastised members of Congress, claiming that the alien threat should be rallying America's leaders, not splitting them apart even further. Furthermore, Colbert urged that emergency war funding be approved immediately, and that the country's resources — including its strategic petroleum reserves — be tapped as required to help combat the invaders.

"Mr. Colbert firmly believes that at this point in time, our government is only hurting the very people it has sworn to protect," said Colbert's campaign strategist David Seperson. "The resources to defend our nation from these monsters must be made available to us; that's what they're there for."

Seperson added that Colbert has placed phone calls to several other world leaders who have reportedly been affected by the Skrull invasion, including King T'Challa of Wakanda and the recently incarcerated Victor Von Doom, self-imposed monarch of Latveria. "He has yet to receive word back from either ruler," he confirmed, "but considering the circumstances, that's certainly understandable."

Contacting T'Challa could certainly be construed as "understandable." But Dr. Doom — a jailed despot who time and again has battled the Fantastic Four and was recently brought to justice by the Avengers for his crimes against humanity?

"True, Latveria is a Third World nation that's been ruled by a mad tyrant in most people's eyes," Seperson explained. "However, that nation's advancements in technology are second to none. And with Mr. Fantastic unavailable these days, Mr. Colbert thinks we need all the scientific know-how we can gather if Earth is going to survive this crisis."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Captain America #41, on sale now.

This week's images are from Secret Invasion #13.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Ms. Marvel #29, X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Marvel Universe: Colbert for President — Is the Skrull Secret Invasion Good for Colbert?

After Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada announced that Stephen Colbert is still running for president in the Marvel Universe, we decided to follow up by contacting a reporter in that universe for updates on his campaign:

Alien Threat Puts Colbert in Favorable Poll Position

Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

There are still three months to go, and many issues to deliberate over, before a new Commander-in-Chief is elected into the Oval Office. However, those who participated in a DB straw poll this past week have very definite opinions on where our country — and its future leader — should direct their attention.

More than 39 percent of the 1,750 straw poll respondents believe that the United States should actually concentrate less on waging war in Iraq (16 percent), battling terrorism (24 percent) and sparking a struggling economy (21 percent), and more on combating the shape-shifting aliens that, to this point, have posed a very real danger to the entire planet.

"Based on the results of the straw poll, it's apparent that a majority of the voters have become concerned with the most immediate and tangible threat before them," noted DB polling director James White, Jr. "Although the other issues remain extremely important, the extraterrestrial attacks that have occurred worldwide are foremost on their minds."

White added that the respondents' answer to a subsequent question in the census was equally telling; of the candidates engaged in November's race to the White House, an impressive 42 percent believe that Stephen Colbert has been most proactive in dealing with the alien menace.

"While his opponents have seemed to waffle a bit and want more information before making any comments, Colbert makes no secret of the fact that he thinks this country needs to tackle the pressing problem at hand," White said. "Like he stated during his press conference in San Francisco last week, national issues seem rather insignificant when there's a distinct possibility the planet may not be around much longer."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Ms. Marvel #29, on sale now.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1