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Liveblog: Nevada Caucus Results

Nevada's a Done Deal

Are you in the mood for some political suspense tonight? If so, you'd better have a DVD of The Manchurian Candidate handy…

Republican presidential front runner Mitt Romney reached for his second straight victory Saturday in quiet Nevada caucuses, a contest that Newt Gingrich and the rest of his rivals conceded in advance.

So, uh, we'll be liveblogging the action (?) right here from 7pm ET till whenever Newt Gingrich and the rest of Mitt Romney's rivals concede in real time. Say 7:30ish?

Four Things to Know About the Nevada Caucus

1. The Nevada caucus is important because it is "first in the West," as opposed to New Hampshire, which was "first in the nation," or Iowa, which was "first in terms of actual first," or South Carolina, which was "first in the South," or Maine (also starting its [bizarre week-long] caucus today!), which is "first in the league of states bordering New Brunswick," or Oregon, which will be "first in the bird-putting-on division," etc.

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The Jacksonville Debate Awards

Best Outrage by a Soon-to-Be-Failed Presidential Contender: Rick Santorum, who worked himself into a pique over every question, except the one about whether or not he likes his wife.

Best Display of Cluelessness as Virtue: Mitt Romney, who wants everyone to know he has absolutely no idea what is going on with his investments, the same way he has absolutely no idea what his Super PAC's attack ads say.

Best Effort by a Junior Astronaut: Newt Gingrich, who is serious about that moon colony, at least as long as he's campaigning in Florida.

Best Attempt to Be Left Alone: Ron Paul, who was "not interested" in non-Fed-related questions, and who said he'd answer calls from Raul Castro by asking "why he was calling."

Best Old Lady: TIE between Rick Santorum's mom and all the immigrant grandmothers with whom Mitt Romney says he does not have a problem.

Best Moderator: Anyone but Wolf Blitzer. We'll rescind this award if it turns out that the "why would your wife make a good First Lady" question turns into a jobs discussion when you play it backwards.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tweet Untweet: A Stone's Throw from Losing South Carolina

It's incorrect to say this week shows Mitt has a glass jaw. Technically, it's Baccarat crystal.

January 21, 2012 11:31 am via Mobile WebReplyRetweetFavorite

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