Latest Posts

Sara Benincasa
  • Linda McMahon to Execute Flawless Suplex on Connecticut

    Former wrestling executive (this is an actual job) Linda McMahon, 62, is trying to fill the small, weird shoes of one Senator Joe Lieberman in 2012. And while she refused donations and spent $50 million of her own American dollars on her last campaign, she wants you to know that you may send her your own monies this time around.

    Let's learn more about this brave innovator who paved the way for humans to earn an income by smashing folding chairs across other humans' skulls

    A co-founder with her husband, Vince McMahon, of World Wrestling Entertainment, she drew on her biography of having started a business that now employs hundreds of people and is publicly traded.

    And she recounted past struggles with financial adversity, such as the time she and her husband filed for bankruptcy in the mid-1970s and made do without health insurance.

    "I know what our families are trying to do to survive every day," she said. "I've been there, and you never forget."

    Enjoy your future, Connecticut, in which all end-of-life counseling is provided by the Undertaker, and even the First Dude has a fake tan!

    Photo by Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Connecticut, Joe Lieberman, Linda McMahon, Republicans, Senate, Sports, Wrestling
  • Barack Obama to Awkwardly Address United Nations General Assembly

    Important persons from all over the world are descending upon New York for the season premiere of everyone's favorite teevee show, United Nations: General Assembly. It is kind of like The Real World: San Francisco, what with all the concern about HIV/AIDS, the challenge of living together in peace and harmony, and the controversy over who stuck a finger in somebody else's jar of peanut butter (Puck = United States).

    President Barack Obama will make a speech, because this is what U.S. presidents do when tons of government employees from other countries come over to hang out, wear their colorful native costumes and take advantage of their diplomatic license plates by double-parking wherever they damn well please.

    But when he stands at the podium, will he face a warm, lively room or a pack of pissed-off hecklers?

    This week the President is in the hot seat, confronting Palestinian demands for statehood and a rising tide of anti-UN sentiment in the U.S. Congress. By pushing a UN Security Council vote on statehood –supported by a supermajority of UN member states — the Palestinian Authority (PA) has put Washington on the defensive. The United States will surely veto the resolution, which it considers a threat to Israel and a distraction from the peace process. But doing so will be excruciatingly awkward.

    Ooh, "excruciatingly awkward" like leading an impoverished existence in a squalid refugee camp with no hope of socioeconomic mobility or "excruciatingly awkward" like forgetting to sign your boss's birthday card? We need some clarity, CNN.

    Anyhoo, since there's not a snowball's chance in Ramallah that the United States will actually vote in favor of the resolution promoting Palestinian statehood, watch for some grumbling and booing from our planet's louder occupants when Obama speaks.

    Photo by Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Israel, Palestine, United Nations
  • Ron Paul, California Straw Poll Winner, Is Your New Justin Bieber

    Everyone in California wants to make sexy love to Ron Paul! By "everyone" I mean a handful of the Golden State Republicans who actually voted in the 2011 Straw Poll.

    He garnered 374 votes to Rick Perry's piddling 244. Mysteriously, Rick Perry has yet to suspend his campaign and cede victory to the future President of the Pre-Woodrow Wilsonian Isolationist States of Libertamerica.

    But those 374 passionate people in California have made it clear: Ron Paul is a pop star!

    Paul is causing a sensation at the California Republican Party convention in Los Angeles, followed by hoards of chanting supporters as he makes his way around the JW Marriott at LA Live where 1,000 state party activists are convening in a three day meeting.

    The Texas Congressman was met by a parade of sign-bearing supporters on the street when he arrived at the hotel, and they have followed him adoringly around the venue. T-shirts on display proclaim the "Ron Paul Revolution" and "I'm voting for Peace."

    But has he been asked to pose for Playgirl? We think not.

    Ron Paul will never truly be King until a squealing Vince Vaughn or John Mayer asks him to sign a man-boob.

    Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: California, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Woodrow Wilson
  • Joe McGinniss Says Gross Things About Sarah Palin

    This site isn't typically a bastion of pro-Palin sentiment, and I'm not generally a huge fan of hers, but there's something icky-gross about Joe McGinniss' "revelations" in his sure-to-be-a-bestseller-anywhere-but-Wasilla book, "The Rogue."

    McGinniss moved in next door to the Palins (creepy) and spent a year of his life speaking to people who really, really hate Sarah Palin. Understandably, Todd is pissed

    Todd Palin is ripping author Joe McGinniss' upcoming book, which claims his wife, Sarah, had a sexual tryst with hoops star Glen Rice and dabbled with marijuana and cocaine.

    Todd described the book as full of "disgusting lies, innuendo and smear" in a statement and blasted the best-selling author for stalking the ex-Alaska governor and former vice presidential candidate.

    Personally, I think we, the American public, ought to be mad, too — if only because McGinniss's big revelations are so boring. Oh, wow, a pretty, wannabe-famous lady allegedly banged a sexy, soon-to-be-famous dude? That has never happened before in the history of the world, ever.

    She allegedly did coke off an oil drum? So what? It's not like there's anything else to do in Alaska besides recreational drugs, and it's not like there's anything else to do them off of besides various objects related to Big Oil. These people live in friggin' igloos. Have you ever tried to do a key bump in an igloo? The key gets really cold, and it can stick to sensitive mucous membranes like the nose. It's dangerous! And don't even get me started on the logistics of trying to do an 8-ball with a polar bear. One word: awkward.

    If Joe McGinniss owes anyone an apology, it's the American people. As if we don't have enough disappointment in our lives these days.

    Photo by Shekhar Yadav/India Today Group/Getty Images


    Tags: Alaska, Basketball, Books, Drugs, Glen Rice, Joe McGinniss, Sarah Palin, Sex, Sports, Todd Palin
  • Michele Bachmann Calls Sheriff Joe Arpaio a Hero

    When Michele Bachmann loves something, she really, really loves something. Even the most devout fan at Comic Con can't match her geekery when it comes to her own favorite things: fostering kids, hating Barack Obama, and trying her darndest to make gay people feel like sick, worthless human beings.

    Her dogged devotion extends even to impoverished illegal immigrants who risk their lives to come to the US and make $4 an hour raising the rich kids of Republican political candidates. So when Michele Bachmann says she digs Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, you know she has a statue of him somewhere in her linen closet…

    Michele Bachmann said she considers Sheriff Joe Arpaio "one of my heroes"in a brief news conference the Republican presidential candidate held before meeting with the 79-year-old sheriff on Wednesday afternoon…

    But Arpaio would not commit, saying he had not yet made up his mind which Republican candidate he would support in 2012.

    Oh, quit playing hard to get, Joey! You know the only candidate who can truly match you for irrational anti-immigrant fanaticism is Bachmann. Or…y'know, everyone else but Perry, who is basically already president of a republic that runs on immigrants, legal and otherwise. (Safe to say that when Rick Perry is the only dude in the room with common sense, it's time to get the hell out of that room.)

    Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Arizona, Immigration, Joe Arpaio, Michele Bachmann, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry