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Terry Selucky
  • Republicans Responsible for Everything Good Ever

    House Rules Committee Chair David Dreier (R-CA), in a recent interview with Fox News, put a notch on the creaky bedpost of the GOP, claiming that, after 19 days of having a majority in one-half of Congress, they'd already begun turning around the economy

    "We've gotten some positive numbers. I think it's in large part because we've won our majority and we're pursuing pro-growth policies."

    Man, that GOP works quick! Like salt on a wound that's already been treated.

    Dreier's logic shouldn't come as a surprise. Such trampoline leaps are the reason why the GOP can safely attribute the economic collapse to Obama. When he walked through the front door of the White House for the first time, he immediately became the cause of a rising deficit and sputtering job growth. This secret If a = true and b = true, then a is the cause of b formula is a staple in political logic. It's been around for a while. (i.e., if George W. Bush is standing on an aircraft carrier, and a nearby banner reads "Mission Accomplished," then Bush is the cause of a mission being accomplished.)

    It works every time! Try it at home. I did…

    I am standing outside. The sun is out. Therefore, I am the cause of the sun being out. Hooray! All hail to the Sun Queen! I deliver life to the world!

    And therefore I have also turned around the economy.

    Tags: Barack Obama, David Dreier, Economy, George W. Bush, House of Representatives, Republicans