Wednesday's Links: Conan Celebrates Soda's 11th-Hour Reprieve

* Soda lovers take their victory to the streets.

* It takes a lot of power to get a roller coaster going.

* If all money looked like this, people probably would save more.

* Political dramas are getting too much like real life.

* An alternate reality where Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were Communists.

* Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your pastoral staff.

* Animals yelling like humans? *Yawn* We've got politicians who yell like animals.

* The Fremont City Council meeting will now come to disorder. [NSFW]

Tags: Catholic Church, Communism, Daily Links, Energy & Oil, England, Howard Dean, Lady Gaga, Money, New York City, Queen Elizabeth II, Rob Delaney, Soda Ban, Vatican O'Brien

Tweet Untweet: Massachusetts Republicants

You know you're watching a commercial for a Republican candidate in MA if the word "Republican" doesn't appear in the commercial.

— STEVE HUFF (@SteveHuff) March 13, 2013

Tags: Massachusetts, Republicans, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

John Kerry Is Boring in Every Language

Secretary of State John "Human Ambien" Kerry's facility with French is well-known, even if he keeps his cunning linguistics hidden when he's on American soil.

But did you know he spoke German?

Kerry: [in German] Very good, thank you. All is well. Your shoes are fantastic, yes? [...] No, no, I can only speak a little German. But I would say, it is wonderful to be back herein Berlin. Thank you. And now I will speak in English because it's easier. [end of German]

And Italian?

Kerry thanked Prime Minister Mario Monti in Italian for his "spirit of friendship."

And Norwegian!?

[Kerry] won praise from his Norwegian counterpart Espen Barth Eide, who said after talks at the State Department that Kerry "can even speak quite impressively Norwegian phrases."

Eide added, "Secretary Kerry made a very good poi– Zzzzzzzzzzzz…"

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: France, Germany, Italy, John Kerry, Norway, Secretary of State

Tuesday's Links: Sound the Bugle for Chavez

* The Bugle says "adios" to George W. Bush's muse.

* Notes from the GOP naming committee meeting.

* What Americans think about the Pope being Jewish.

* Homeland as a role-playing game.

* Someone may be trying to tell Gov. Rick Scott something.

* What is the Cyrus cylinder and why is it important to America?

* This is what it sounds like when Joe Biden tells John Boehner a joke.

Tags: Catholic Church, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Hugo Chavez, Jewish, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Rick Scott

Tweet Untweet: Putting Out Conservative Fires

Paul Ryan's new budget unveiled the same day as the papal conclave. Looks like House Republicans and the Vatican will both be blowing smoke.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) March 12, 2013

Tags: Catholic Church, Paul Ryan, Republicans, Tweet Untweet, Twitter, Vatican