Jeb Bush Is Pissed That You Can't Decide What He Should Believe

Turns out the only thing harder than immigrants finding a pathway to citizenship is a guy named Bush finding a pathway to the presidency.

And you people are not making it any easier.

Take a look at Jeb Bush's* new book, released just last night, which argues that "those [immigrants] who violated the laws can remain but cannot obtain the cherished fruits of citizenship." Harsh!

(Also, "cherished fruits"? Sounds like Michelle Obama just got an ally for her healthy eating campaign. Yay bipartisanship!)

But just a few hours later on Morning Joe, Bush said the following sentence-like jumble of words: "If you can craft that in law where you can have a path to citizenship where there isn't an incentive for people to come illegally."

His reason for waffling? "We wrote this book last year, not this year." Duh. If only Americans would stop flip-flopping on what they want Jeb Bush to believe, he wouldn't have to change his mind so quickly.

_{*Fun fact: his real name is John Ellis Bush. If he's going to avoid one of his names, though, shouldn't it be the last one?}

Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Tags: 2016, Immigration, Jeb Bush, Republicans

7 Signs Hillary Clinton Will Run in 2016

When John Kerry replaces Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State later today and the era of Texts from Hillary gives way to Interminable Faxes from Kerry, it will be the first time in 7,317 days that a Clinton has not occupied a federal office. A great many people in the media cannot bear this thought, but fear not. There is no shortage of evidence that she'll run again in 2016.

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Tags: 2016, Hillar Clinton, John Kerry, State Department

Rick Perry Announces He Will Make an Announcement One Day

I know you're all dying to find out if Rick Perry will be running for president again in 2016. (Spoiler alert: He is.) Unfortunately, Obama has not yet entered his second term, nor has a new, exciting and even more "populist" redux of the Tea Party arisen to be reported breathlessly by Fox News. So it's a little early for potential candidates to make announcements of intent. It's considered somewhat gauche.

However, it's not too early for potential candidates to make announcements about announcements of intent…

Texas Gov. Rick Perry said Tuesday that he will "make an announcement about my future political plans" in July, according to a report by the Rio Grande Guardian…

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Tags: 2016, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry

Rick Santorum Is "Open" to Idea of Maybe Running Again in 2016

Hey look, guys. I know it seems like a real long shot, but we can't give up hope. There's still a small but slight chance that Rick Santorum might maybe possibly perchance consider running for president again in four years.

Which is to say he's definitely doing it…

"I'm open to it, yeah," Santorum replied. "I think there's a fight right now as to what the soul of the Republican party's going to be and the conservative movement, and we have something to say about that. I think from our battle, we're not going to leave the field."

In 2012, Santorum won nearly 4 million votes and 11 GOP primary contests — the same number of states, he pointed out, Ronald Reagan won in his failed 1976 presidential bid.

You know, I was gonna say, that guy really loses like Reagan. There's something so Reagan-esque in the way he fails to get things that he desperately wants. There's a certain Gipper-ishness in how he sets out goals and then comes up short of achieving them.

Oh yeah, I see it. This guy is going places.

Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: 2016, Republicans, Rick Santorum

From the Pork Barrel: 2016 Problems but a Mitt Ain't One

* According to the latest estimates, seven Republicans are not running for president in 2016. (And three of them are Mitt Romney.)

* If you're hoping that Sarah Palin will jump into the race, you're not alone.

* Joe Scarborough is about as good at making apologies as he is at understanding math.

* According to Pat Robertson, the atheists are coming to steal Christmas. Bummer. I hope they let us keep Thanksgiving, though. I already have my turkey brining.

* Hey, so, what's it take to get a spot on the House Science Committee? I mean, besides a complete lack of understanding of science?

* Even more proof that beer is the solution to all of life's problems.

* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and join the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond as documentarian Ken Burns joins MSNBC's Meet the Press this Sunday at 10:30 am.

Photo by Royce Bair/Flickr/Getty Images

Tags: 2016, Atheists, Christmas, Climate Change, House of Representatives, Joe Scarborough, Sarah Palin, Science & Technology, War on Christmas