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60 Minutes
  • However You Slice It, We're Bankrupt

    Republicans are warning that if President Obama's spending plan is passed and implemented, Americans can look forward to a future where dollar menu chicken nuggets have to be purchased with a wheelbarrow full of near-worthless currency.

    Soothsaying publicly, Senator Judd Gregg, a Republican from New Hampshire, shared this:

    "The practical implications of this is bankruptcy for the United States. If we maintain the proposals… over the 10-year period that this budget covers, this country will go bankrupt. People will not buy our debt; our dollar will become devalued."

    Meanwhile, Barack Obama was seen laughing his smug little head off Sunday night on 60 Minutes, the cranky old bastard's answer to The View. What's next, Dancing With the Stars? The President’s vaunted calm under pressure increasingly fails to inspire confidence, as he’s coming off as a dude who’s veins pump liquid Lunesta. It's a con, in the same way Dubya's sunny, consumerist optimism was just another dishonest pose from another clubby politician.

    And yet, Republicans continue to win the Disingenuous Political Hack Award, since they refuse to acknowledge their own policies were also based on running up debt like a spoiled princess burning up Daddy’s credit card at Hot Topic. The only difference, of course, is that the Obama administration is throwing money at America, and specifically the special interests responsible for filling the Democrat's war chests. And the Republicans liked throwing money at wars, which are far sexier than building roads or passing out bouquets of condoms or subsidizing therapeutic Hippie drum circles.

    Both parties are equally guilty of running up deficits, and it doesn’t matter who, or what industry, they benefit if the end result is American bankruptcy, or hideous inflation on par with pre-Nazi Weimer Germany. If both parties are addicted to wasteful spending, and we’re going down anyway, I’m going to lean Neo-conservative and say let's spend the loot on more wars.

    I'm looking at you, Luxemburg.

    Tags: 60 Minutes, Barack Obama, Economy, Germany
  • Tune in to See Ben Bernanke Destroy the Economy this Weekend

    benbernankeAs if Pi Day isn't excitement enough, this weekend also brings us the television event of a lifetime.

    You'll laugh. You'll cry. The market's gyrations will make you vomit your last can of beans. You'll fall in love all over again…

    Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke's taped interview with CBS' "60 Minutes," scheduled to air this Sunday, is unusual not only because it's the first television interview with a Fed chairman in 20 years. It also appears to violate the Fed's blackout practice, in which members of the Federal Open Market Committee are usually silent most of the week before and after an FOMC meeting.

    See, the FOMC meets next week. In normal times its members are kept in hermetically sealed tanks for several days before and after each meeting so as not to spook investors, who will jump off a cliff if a member of the FOMC sneezes.

    Given how easily the market has spooked itself lately, you'd think Bernanke would keep a lid on it for one more week. But no, Mr. Bearded Diva here even invited the 60 Minutes crew to follow him to the small South Carolina town where he was raised. I guess that's safe enough, some homey visuals. Nothing there that could put the markets in a sour mood

    DILLON, S.C. — Travis Jackson walks through his modest ranch house, admiring the kitchen's built-in spice rack and the red-oak floors. He draws back the curtains, and sunlight illuminates the pride on his face.

    The young banker just bought Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke's childhood home at a foreclosure sale.

    Right, well, except that.

    Tags: 60 Minutes, Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve
  • Barack and Michelle Obama on 60 Minutes

    In case you missed it last night, Barack Obama gave his first post-election interview to 60 Minutes' Steve Kroft. Subjects ranged from the direness of the economic crisis, the need to close Guantanamo Bay and end American torture practices, why he finally gave up his shitty D.C. apartment, and how he might throw a little presidential weight around to get a college football playoff system in place…

    Solving the economic crisis and closing Guantanamo? Fine. I'll buy that.

    But college football playoffs. No way. That system is too fucked.

    Tags: 60 Minutes, Barack Obama, CBS, Michelle Obama
  • Barack and Michelle Obama: 60 Minutes Preview

    Here's a preview of Barack and Michelle Obama's first post-election interview on CBS' 60 Minutes this Sunday at 7 pm (EST)…

    I hope they're not that cute for the next four years, or I'm gonna lose a dangerous amount of weight throwing up.

    Tags: 60 Minutes, Barack Obama, CBS, Michelle Obama
  • John McCain Bites the Hand That Feeds Him

    The last episode of 60 Minutes included a Scott Pelley interview with John McCain, focusing on the economy. McCain placed the blame squarely where everyone expected to: On the leader of his own political party.

    Oh wait, that's messed up…

    PELLEY: You place a great deal of responsibility on this current emergency on the administration.

    MCCAIN: Yes. Yes.

    PELLEY: This is the president of your party.

    MCCAIN: Yes, it is.

    PELLEY: Are you saying that the Bush administration has failed?

    MCCAIN: I say the Bush administration has failed.

    There you have it: John McCain is a maverick!

    You can ignore the irrelevant details about how he voted with Bush 90% of the time, about how he voted to deregulate Wall Street, about how he kept insisting that the economy is "fundamentally sound" until last week.

    Next, look for McCain to put the blame for the nation's faltering economy on the multi-term former chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee.

    Oh wait, that's him.

    Tags: 60 Minutes, Economy, George W. Bush, John McCain