They Day They Planned to Burn Old Dixie Down, Assuming It Adheres to Municipal Fire Codes

Here's an interesting question: When is it acceptable to burn the Confederate Flag? Besides usually, I mean…

An anonymous liberal blogger in Washington state hopes that progressives across the country will show up to tea party rallies on September 12 and — if it's legal — light up a confederate flag so tea partiers can watch it burn.

"I think that it would start a great conversation about race and about how it's being used for political gain right now," the blogger, who preferred to be identified by his online handle, "General J.C. Christian," told me Monday. "I can imagine people showing up at the tea parties, which I'll do at my local one, and the tea party backers will start explaining why [the flag] is about state's rights, not slavery, and all that and basically hang themselves."

Hmmmm… I'm curious about this "great conversation about race" that this idea supposedly spark. Granted, I've only been living in this country for 37 years, but I would never say that I was under impression that its citizens were one flaming-Dixie away from having a "great conversation about race."

Maybe I'm wrong, though. I wonder what that conversation would go like if it did happen. I wonder…

Teabagger: Hey, stop burning that flag, you liberal pansy!

Flag burner: Why, does it offend your racist heritage?

Teabagger: [Punch]

Flag burner: [Bleed]

Seems about right.

Tags: 9/12, Civil War, Flags, Liberals, Protesters, Racism, Tea Party

More 'Said vs. Meant' to Salve Your Monday Gloom

It's like one of those magic pictures. You just have to un-focus your eyes just right…

Put the glasses on! Put the glasses on! Fnord!*

See also…

.

^{* If you don't get these references, well then maybe you should have spent less time during your teenage years drinking, having sex and forming actual relationships with other humans, and spent more time watching every John Carpenter movie ever made and reading 800-page works of conspiracy fiction written by Robert Anton Wilson.}

Tags: 9/12, Barack Obama, Protesters, Tea Party

Less Taxes! More Electrolytes!

This moment in teabag-mentality is brought to you by Brawndo. Brawndo! It's got the critical thinking skills plants crave!

Protesters who attended Saturday's Tea Party rally in Washington found a new reason to be upset: Apparently they are unhappy with the level of service provided by the subway system.

Rep. Kevin Brady asked for an explanation of why the government-run subway system didn't, in his view, adequately prepare for this past weekend's rally to protest government spending and government services.

Seriously.

The Texas Republican on Wednesday released a letter he sent to Washington's Metro system complaining that the taxpayer-funded subway system was unable to properly transport protesters to the rally to protest government spending and expansion.

We now return you to your regularly depressing outlook on society.

(via Balloon Juice)

Tags: 9/12, House of Representatives, Kevin Brady, Socialism, Tea Party, Texas, Washington

How to Talk Like a Real American Genius, Part 2: Racist Boogaloo

Best new YouTube genre: DIY documentaries of people going way out of their way to prove how utterly moronic, scarily racist, pathetically silly, willfully ignorant and generally horrible they are…

Wow! Just, wow! It's like a snow white sea of stupidity and ugliness. It almost makes you want to wade in, hop up on a burning cross and surf a swell of xenophobia all the way back to the 1950s, huh?

Watch How to Talk Like a Real American Genius, Part 1: The Phantom Menace.

(via The Public Record)

Tags: 9/12, Barack Obama, Racism, Tea Party, Washington DC

From the Pork Barrel: Said vs. Meant

* A useful guide for translating from Teabagger into English.

* So, it turns out there really were 2 million people at the 9/12 march. Give or take 1,930,000.

* Yo, Kanye. I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but TMZ has one of the best audio recordings of Barack Obama calling you a "jackass" of all time.

* Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.) to health care protester: "I wouldn't dignify you by peeing on your leg, it wouldn't be worth wasting the urine."

Tags: 9/12, Barack Obama, California, Health Care, House of Representatives, Kanye West, Pork Barrel, Racism, Tea Party, Town Hall