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Aaron Schock
  • An Important Message from Rep. Aaron Schock's Abs

    Men and women of the legislature, put down your Big N’ Toasties! America’s Lil’est Congressman has a very important message for you about exercise and eating well. And the only way to deliver it was, in the tradition of the world’s great leaders, by exposing his broad, sculpted chest, washboard abs, and muscular thighs

    [Rep. Aaron Schock (R-IL) is] focused on major issues that will affect his own generation the most: energy and the environment, the budget deficit, spiraling health-care costs, and a growing obesity crisis.

    And that’s certainly what I’m thinking about as my eyes gloss over the words like so much hot oil. But Schock explains that he did the Men's Health article to raise awareness about rising health-care costs — and for that, we owe him.

    With all the vanity and thinly veiled PR moves flung around Washington these days, who stops to consider health care? It’s a sneaky elephant in the room, and Rep. Schock, we thank you for this bold, strategic move.

    Tags: Aaron Schock, Health, House of Representatives, Illinois
  • An Interview with the Lil'est Congressman

    Time Magazine recently conducted an interview with the small child that Illinois' 18th district elected to represent it in Congress: 27-year-old Aaron Schock, a Republican congressperson born just two months before MTV went on the air and just eight years before MTV began to suck.

    He is — as Time is so quick and happy to point out — "The First Gen Y Congressman." And, as such, he is obligated to talk about Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and iPhones as often as possible, or else people might forget that he's young and cool…

    [Y]our generation was very active politically last year. But most supported Democrats. Is there something your party doesn't get about younger voters?

    I think at times elected officials lose sight of the fact that the younger generation uses different means of communications. They don't necessarily pick up the New York Times to get their news. They may go online, and they may use more things like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube — things that members of the older generation aren't as accustomed to using to communicate with constituents.

    If President-elect Obama's campaign taught us anything, it was how to use new media to reach out to youth. If your source of information is your iPhone and your Facebook page, then hands down, Senator Obama did a much better job than Senator McCain. Job One is just reaching out and communicating.

    I had a bunch of jokes about Job Two might be, but every single one showed just how not young and not cool I am. Turns out, I can't even pretend to be fake cool enough to make an intentionally lame joke about how not young and not cool the majority of the GOP is.

    In fact, I had to check with Gonzalo Cordova and Eric March — our official Gen Y consultants — to see what the kids are calling "talking" these days. The best we could come up with was Eric's suggestion: takin' it down to the tongue zone, which — while clever — does not seem to be taking the internet by storm.

    This whole thing just made me realize what Rep. Schock has in store for him these next couple years…

    (The phone in Rep. Schock's office rings.)

    Rep. Schock: Hello?

    Rep. John Boehner: Hey, my main man, A-Dog. What's the word?

    Rep. Schock: Uh, not much, Minority Leader Boehner. Just working on this amendment proposal you dropped on my desk that would require gay people to be sterilized. I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to "hip-ify" it. But, I'll keep on it.

    Rep. Boehner: Bitchin'! Listen, I'm working on a speech for next week's filibuster. And I'm trying to figure out how the kids would say "socialized medicine is a Marxist ploy."

    Rep. Schock: Um, I really wouldn't know. I don't talk to people under 45 very often.

    Rep. Boehner: I hear ya, hommie. Just get on the FaceTube and find out, okay?

    Rep. Schock: Okay, as soon as I get a minute.

    Rep. Boehner: Word to your mother. Later, crocodile!

    Believe it or not, I just made that up. That is not an actual transcript.

    Tags: Aaron Schock, House of Representatives, Illinois, John Boehner, Science & Technology