In this time of upheaval and revolution in Yemen, Libya, Egypt, Bahrain, and all those other farflung sandy places, it's easy to forget about our #1 BFF in the Middle East (besides the 51st state, Israel): Saudi Arabia!
Sure, nearly all the September 11th hijackers were Saudis, and Osama bin Laden was a naughty Saudi trustafarian, and Saudi Arabia THROWS WOMEN IN JAIL FOR DRIVING CARS, but who cares? Saudi Arabia sells us lots of oil, which is made of the blood of dinosaurs and also children.
The New York Times has a lovely piece on just how Saudi Arabia is currently keeping its oppressed citizenry in check…
King Abdullah paid an extra two months’ salary to government employees and spent $70 billion alone for 500,000 units of low-income housing. As a reward to the religious establishment, he allocated about $200 million to their organizations, including the religious police. Clerics opposed to democratic changes crowed that they had won a great victory over liberal intellectuals.
"They don't care about the security of the country, all they care about is the mingling of genders — they want girls to drive cars, they want to go the beaches to see girls in bathing suits!" roared Mohamed al-Areefy, a popular young cleric, in a recent Friday sermon.
Let's all get down on our knees and pray to our American God (the dollar bill) in order to give thanks that we continue to collaborate with this nation of cousin-marrying psychopaths. Hooray for capitalism!
Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz, Islam, Men and Women, Middle East, Religion, Saudi Arabia, Terrorism
President Obama wants the citizens of the United States to know that this Swine Flu — which, from what I gather from watching the news channels, has already claimed 900 bazillion U.S. lives (give or take a bazillion) — is nothing to worry about, even though it is somewhat worrying…
"We are closely monitoring the emerging cases of swine flu in the United States," Mr. Obama said, speaking at the National Academy of Sciences. "This is obviously the cause for concern and requires a heightened state of alert, but it's not a cause for alarm."
Got that? Be alert, but don't be alarmed. I guess, the best way to differentiate between the two is like this:
A squirrel, eating an acorn in the grass, is alert. A squirrel, screaming and clawing his way through a crowded subway terminal in a vain attempt to escape a horrifying pestilence, is alarmed.
The remarks by Mr. Obama, which came at the beginning of a previously-scheduled speech that he delivered to scientists in Washington, marked the first time the president has personally addressed the swine flu.
Fantastic! If he's not bowing down before the Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz or shaking hands with Venezualan President Hugo Chavez, then he's entering into friendly negotiations with a potential worldwide pandemic.
Doesn't he know that you have to play tough with these pathogenic agents? You didn't see George Bush cozying up to monkeypox back in his first term, did you?
Tags: Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Health, Hugo Chavez, Saudi Arabia, Swine Flu, Venezuela