Ah, the presidency. There may be no more rewarding an experience than the first time you cast your ballot and everything stays pretty much the same as it was before.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
Ppppffffffff… This Herman Cain guy. Am I right? I mean, what's up with him getting all this press these days. It's almost as if people aren't aware that he holds an insufficient amount of hatred for gay people…
Rick Santorum, continuing to try to stake out territory as the most stalwart social conservative in the presidential race, tonight raked fellow GOP'er Herman Cain for his "refusal to defend traditional marriage."
In a written statement, Santorum notes that on NBC’s "Meet the Press" this morning, Cain said he "wouldn't seek a constitutional ban for same sex marriage"and that states "would make up their own minds."
Herman Cain would not seek to change the Constitution of the United States for the purpose of further subjugating an already put-upon minority group?! Whaaaaat?! And he calls himself an American?
Santorum said: "I have been a long-time advocate for states' rights. However, I believe as Abraham Lincoln did — that states don't have the rights to legalize moral wrongs."
Exactly! Exactly as Abraham Lincoln did. Because, let's face it: Stopping two dudes from marrying each other is pretty much the modern day equivalent of putting to an end the institutionalized practice of owning human beings as property.
Okay, they're not exactly the same, but they're pretty close.
Photo by Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Constitution, Herman Cain, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Slavery
* In honor of tomorrow's debate, here's National Lampoon's list of nine non-crazy things said at the last one.
* Funny or Die Occupies Wall Street.
* Congress finally addresses the nation's lack of dogwear laws, from The Onion
* College Humor's hipster Abraham Lincoln.
* A different people's history of the United States, via Buzzfeed.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, BuzzFeed, Daily Links, Debates, Funny or Die, House of Representatives, National Lampoon, Occupy Wall Street, Primaries, Republicans, Tea Party, The Onion
Bill O'Reilly admits that he would happily pay a 40% income tax just so long as he knows that the government won't waste that money on poorly-run clean energy companies and overpriced pasties. Which is to say that Bill O'Reilly will never happily pay a 40% income tax.
The interview continues after the jump.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Bill O'Reilly, Books, Fox, Jon Stewart, Solyndra, Taxes, The Daily Show, Video