ACORN Blog Posts | Comedy Central Indecision

Dead ACORN Is Not Dead Enough for House GOP

Tweet

Mar 5, 2013 02:37 PM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

Zombies

Look, if ACORN wanted to avoid getting its corpse repeatedly kicked by the U.S. Congress, they should have killed some civilians in Iraq and renamed themselves Academi. Instead they're stuck in the darkest timeline:

March 22, 2010: ACORN, an umbrella organization of community organizers that provided lots of figurines for Glenn Beck's fear-diorama, announces it will disband. Later that year it does just that, closing its state affiliate offices and filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.

December 5, 2012: Despite not existing, ACORN is blamed by 49% of Republicans for stealing the 2012 election.

Today: A short-term budget bill sponsored by House Republicans includes language to defund ACORN, which continues to not exist.

April 2013, probably: House Republicans take a strong stand against an appropriations bill that would allow the National Institutes of Health to study unicorn farts and manticore tears.

Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Tags: ACORN, House of Representatives, Republicans

Non-Existent Things Doing Well in Polls

Tweet

Dec 5, 2012 09:26 AM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

unicornz Reality, how does it work? According to Public Policy Polling, a mere 49% of Republicans believe the welfare-rights organization ACORN stole the presidential election for Barack Obama, a 3% decline from 2008. Of course, ACORN ceased to exist in 2010, but being dead only gave it an advantage in getting deceased voters to the polls, according to most Republicans.

ACORN was not the only non-existent thing to poll well yesterday! Another poll from PPP found 39% of Americans with an opinion about the Simpson-Bowles deficit reduction plan. That compared favorably to the 25% of Americans who had an opinion about the Panetta-Burns. Which does not exist. It's a made-up proposal created by PPP, sadly not named after Montgomery Burns, but after Leon Panetta and former GOP Senator Conrad Burns.

It's surprising Panetta-Burns didn't poll even better. A real deficit reduction plan always calls for tax increases and spending cuts. A mythical deficit reduction plan cuts taxes, increases spending and also solves America's trade deficit by promoting the export of unicorn sweat. Who wouldn't favor that?

Photo by Gail Shumway/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

Tags: ACORN, Deficit, Polls, Voter Fraud

James O'Keefe Needs Your Help-Slash-Money

Tweet

Apr 1, 2011 12:22 PM by Dennis DiClaudio | Comments:

For less than a really enormous cup of coffee a day, you can help Mr. O'Keefe supplied with enough pimp hats to take down the entire Democratic Party…