Latest Posts

  • Michelle Obama Likes to Garden with Non-Fatties

    While Barack Obama was busy on his West Coast tour, eating a donut like a damn bachelor on a The Hangover-esque wild weekend, his better half was back home in D.C. having salad in her heady, dank, local, organic, cooperative Communist garden with a bunch of schoolkids and Chef Daniel Boulud.

    Why would the First Lady of the Land do such an anti-American thing — an activity that does not even involve a couch or Cheesy Poofs? Let's go to the White House Blog for some insight(ful propaganda!)

    The White House garden is part of the Let's Move! Initiative which seeks to end childhood obesity within a generation through improved nutrition and increased physical activity. In the spring of 2009, the First Lady and students from the DC area broke ground for the garden and since then nearly 1,600 pounds of food has been harvested. The produce is used in the White House but is also donated to local area food banks. The White House Garden has inspired communities across the country to plant similar gardens at schools, in abandoned lots, and in community spaces.

    The alternate name for "Let's Move," "Get Up, Fatties!," was scrapped after it tested poorly with focus groups. Perhaps if those focus groups had not taken place at the Cinnabon at Washington National Airport, the reactions would've been more favorable.

    At any rate, Michelle and her healthy friends dug up a bunch of sweet potatoes, including a godforsaken beast that tipped the scale at nearly four pounds. You know what makes a potato that big? SOCIALISM. And mulch.

    Tags: Agriculture, Barack Obama, Education, Food, Health, Michelle Obama
  • Dale Peterson Thinks You Need More Lead in Your Diet

    Remember Dale Peterson, the guy running for Head Agriculture Rifle-Shootin' Cowboy Commissioner of Alabama? Of course you do! You could have forgot, but you're better than that.

    Well, he's back! Sorta. Not really, but kinda. Just watch…

    Tags: Agriculture, Alabama, Republicans
  • Dale Peterson Is Running for Sheriff of Agriculture Commissioner of Alabama or Something

    Oh, wow, this guy…

    Just based upon one watching of this ad — having never seen or heard of this guy ever before in my life — I'm guessing that Dale Peterson has about a million percent chance of winning the Republican primary for Alabama's Agriculture Commissioner.

    That is, unless the thugs and criminals who are trying to pillage the state's Department of Agriculture are able to pull of a stealth attack in the dead of night, before Peterson can successfully circle the wagons (of agriculture?).

    (via Videogum)

    Tags: Agriculture, Alabama, Republicans
  • I Will Never Live for the Sake of Another Hippo nor Ask Another Hippo to Live for Mine*

    When I read shit like this

    "Yes, we need health-care reform, but why couldn't we have taken it step by step?" asked Kitty Rehberg, a 71-year-old farmer from nearby Rowley, who held a colonial-era American flag as she protested near Mr. Obama's speech. She said the president's policies would cost her "a lot from my pocket book" to help people who "just want freebies."

    And this

    A reader directed me to the Environmental Workings Group's database of farm subsidies, where I could discover just how much that farmer (Kitty Rehberg) collects from the federal government.

    Answer: a lot. Since 1995, the farm Rehberg owns has collected $357,627 from the Department of Agriculture.

    It really helps me understand the sentiment of this

    Yep. I have a very similar thought pretty much every single day.


    * Slightly paraphrased.

    Tags: Agriculture, Barack Obama, Health Care, Money, Socialism