Latest Posts

Al Franken
  • Jon Stewart on the GOP's Support for Gang-Rape

    As Jon Stewart reported on last night's Daily Show, 30 GOP Senators (that's 75% of all Republicans in the Senate for those keeping score at home) recently voted in favor of KBR and Halliburton's right to gang-rape employees. It's shocking, I know. However, it is important to keep in mind that KBR and Halliburton directed Chinatown.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

    Tags: Al Franken, Halliburton, Jeff Sessions, Jon Stewart, Senate, The Daily Show, Video
  • Happy Falafel Day, America!

    This afternoon, when it came to get lunch, I didn't think about it. I just ordered hummus and falafel. At the time, I couldn't articulate it; it just felt right. And it was delicious falafel. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thoroughly and innocently and thoroughly. There was nothing else in the world that I'd rather have been doing at the time then savoring that warm, moist falafel in my mouth.

    And then I happened upon this reminder from The Smoking Gun, and suddenly it all made sense…

    On this date five years ago, the Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken.

    10/13! Never Forget! Support Our Khubz!

    Tags: Al Franken, Bill O'Reilly, Food, Fox, Sex
  • Al Franken Says Words, New York Times Is There!

    Breaking News! The New York Times's Caucus blog is reporting that Al Franken is a funny guy

    [Franken] has been otherwise subdued since he came to Capitol Hill nearly three months ago. But today, Mr. Franken had the standing-room-only hearing room chortling on multiple occasions.

    Aw, man! This is gonna be good!

    "'If men were angels, then there would be no need for government,' I think that's Madison," he said.


    Oh, hang on, this next bit is gonna be hilarious!

    Mr. Franken also appeared to [be] sharing something amusing on a BlackBerry with Senators Sheldon Whitehouse, of Rhode Island, and Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota’s senior senator.

    Wait a minute. Didn't he steal that bit from Lenny Bruce?

    Alright, I'm sorry. I apologize. This wasn't really that funny or even that interesting. I was scrambling around, looking for something — anything! — to throw up onto the blog, and I found this thing about Al Franken, and I figured, What the fuck? Things he does and says must be considered funny by people by nature of the fact that he used to be a comedian. So, I will just regurgitate this boring drivel onto the blog, and nobody will know the difference. I shouldn't have, but I did. I apologize.

    Gee, I wonder if any other blogs ever do stuff like that?

    Tags: Al Franken, Minnesota, New York Times, Senate
  • Christopher Hitchens Wants You to Know That He's Far Too Smart to Find Jon Stewart Funny

    Also, he's  too intellective to find Stephen Colbert riotous and too cerebral to find Al Franken jocuse.

    But I'm apparently too dumb to claw my way through the byzantine* logic behind his conclusions

    If you chance to like this sort of thing, then this is undoubtedly the sort of thing you will like. It certainly works very well with audiences who laugh not because they find something to be funny, but to confirm that they are — and who can doubt it? — cool enough to "get" the joke.

    What you will not find, in any of this output, is anything remotely "satirical" about the pulpit of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, or any straight-faced, eyebrow-raising (and studio-audience-thigh-slap-triggering) mention of, say, The New York Times's routine practice of captioning Al Sharpton as "the civil rights activist." Baudelaire wrote that the devil's greatest achievement was to have persuaded so many people that he doesn’t exist: liberal platitudinousness must be a bit like that to those who suffer from it without quite acknowledging that there is such a syndrome to begin with.

    Fair enough. Fair enough. Just, I'd be a little more convinced if any of that made sense. Or if it was at all clear that he had ever watched more than two episodes of The Daily Show with which to reference. Or took into account that creating "satire" does not preclude one from having a world view or political bent.

    In general, I'm a fan of Christopher Hitchens. But I prefer the Hitchens who knows from whence he speaks to the Hitchens that just decides to vamp on an unpopular theme for a dozen or so paragraphs to keep his reputation as a contrarian before calling it a day and hitting the liquor cabinet. (Remember his "Look at me!" treatise against vagina-bearing comedians?)

    Now, I don't wanna give the impression that there's no room for criticizing Stewart, Colbert or Franken. (Actually, I have a lot of problems with Franken and his party-line Democrat attitude.) But this article, to me, comes off as shallow, uninformed and silly.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw poop** at a poster of Dick Cheney.


    * I have no idea what that word means. I just mashed my palm onto the keyboard and that came out.

    ** Don't worry. It's not my poop.

    Tags: Al Franken, Christopher Hitchens, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert
  • Al Franken Draws the United States Using Only His Mind (and a Pen)

    Sen. Al Franken (D-SNL) shows his "America's Got Talent"-esque talent for drawing the entire United States from memory…

    That's pretty impressive; you've got to admit. I doubt that I could even name all 47 states* from memory.


    * Relax, Agents of SIWOTI. It was a joke. I'm fully aware that there are 57 states in the union.

    Tags: Al Franken, Minnesota, Senate