* A Patton Oswalt documentary from Thrash Lab.
* Rapper RiFF RaFF roams around Miami's Art Basel.
* Please teach Jimmy Fallon how to Dougie, FLOTUS!
* Graduates have so many choices nowadays, including becoming Pope.
* Seth MacFarlane was almost killed by Al Qaeda, and other weird Oscar trivia.
* Part two of Neil deGrasse Tyson's StarTalk with Sarah Silverman and Jim Gaffigan.
* Splitsider looks at cultural awkwardness in the Zhou dynasty.
* The First Lady's shoulders were not to be the first lady shoulders shown on Iranian television.
Tags: al Qaeda, California, China, Daily Links, Iran, John Edwards, Miami, Michelle Obama, Patton Oswalt, Seth MacFarlane
On Tuesday, the New York Times revealed that not only is Barack Obama our first black president and our first winning-a-Nobel-Prize-prior-to-accomplishing-anything president, he's also our first Black Nobel Prize Winning Kill List President.
But just how does one get nominated to join the terror elite? Is it just the president's decision or is it like the Oscars, where an Academy of old, white men make the tough calls with the helpful input of a multi-billion dollar industry?
Every week or so, more than 100 members of the government's sprawling national security apparatus gather, by secure video teleconference, to pore over terrorist suspects' biographies and recommend to the president who should be the next to die…The video conferences are run by the Pentagon.
Like the Oscar's, but actually deadly rather than just deadly dull. But how does the president and other participants in the "Terror Tuesday" meetings (among the attendees is political adviser David Axelrod, so let's take a moment to imagine the fit liberals would throw if Axelrod was spelled R-O-V-E), know that the killer robot drones are killing the bad people?
Mr. Obama embraced a disputed method for counting civilian casualties that did little to box him in. It in effect counts all military-age males in a strike zone as combatants, according to several administration officials, unless there is explicit intelligence posthumously proving them innocent.
The killer flying robots only kills combatants because everyone killed by the flying robots is a combatant. This should leave us impressed — Joseph Heller was an amateur compared to the lawyers at the CIA — and concerned: just how do we manage to extricate ourselves from this Catch-22? Some concerned petitioners, roughly 1,900 at the time this post was written, think the answer is a Do Not Kill List…
The New York Times reports that President Obama has created an official "kill list" that he uses to personally order the assassination of American citizens. Considering that the government already has a "Do Not Call" list and a "No Fly" list, we hereby request that the White House create a "Do Not Kill" list in which American citizens can sign up to avoid being put on the president’s "kill list" and therefore avoid being executed without indictment, judge, jury, trial or due process of law.
Since the killing of Anwar al-Awlaki, it's clear that Americans who don't put their names on a Do Not Kill list are eligible for placement on the Kill list. Unfortunately, the only people who would sign up for a Do Not Kill are individuals who fear being branded enemy combatants, which is a good sign that they belong on the Kill List. You can see the conundrum.
Photo by Rich Sugg-Pool/Getty Images/Getty Images
Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Military, Terrorism
Back in 2008, everyone agreed Obama was the candidate to save the economy. His Achille's Heel was military weakness, fighting terrorism. How could a liberal professor protect us from all the things that go boom in the night?
Turns out killing terrorists is far easier than killing unemployment. Barack Obama has become so good at it, he even maintains a secret kill list…
It is the strangest of bureaucratic rituals: Every week or so, more than 100 members of the government’s sprawling national security apparatus gather, by secure video teleconference, to pore over terrorist suspects' biographies and recommend to the president who should be the next to die.
This secret "nominations" process is an invention of the Obama administration, a grim debating society that vets the PowerPoint slides bearing the names, aliases and life stories of suspected members of Al Qaeda's branch in Yemen or its allies in Somalia's Shabab militia.
It used to be an honor to be included in a secret list of the president's enemies. Big stars like Paul Newman and Howard Stein (who, I presume, is an even more Jewish Howard Stern) topped Nixon's list back in the 70's.
Now, any old no-name terrorist can land on it without even causing a single international catastrophe.
William M. Daley, Mr. Obama’s chief of staff in 2011, said the president and his advisers understood that they could not keep adding new names to a kill list, from ever lower on the Qaeda totem pole….
"One guy gets knocked off, and the guy's driver, who's No. 21, becomes 20?" Mr. Daley said, describing the internal discussion.
Drones are sent off. Casualties are purposefully undercounted. No American soldiers die. Who knew when it came to foreign policy, Obama would just be a competent Bush?
Photo by Massoud Hossaini/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, George, Military, Richard Nixon, Terrorism
Joel Arends — founder of Veterans for a Strong America — on his ad attacking Barack Obama for the crime of presiding over the killing of Osama bin Laden while being a Democrat…
"Yes, it's the swift boating of the president, in the sense of using what's perceived to be his greatest strength and making it his greatest weakness."
It's going to be a long and depressing six months.
Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Conservatives, Military, Osama bin Laden, Quote Unquote, Tea Party
Tomorrow marks the one year birthday of Osama bin Laden's death, and to celebrate everybody has decided to go crazy and make stupid unfalsifiable accusations at one another and drive down deeper the wedge between left and right America. Because that's how Osama bin Laden would have wanted it.
In a campaign video, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton teamed up to remind you that Obama killed bin Laden. He killed him real good. He killed him pretty much to death! Oh, and that Mitt Romney would have let him live. And bought him some ice cream probably…
I don't know about this ad. It seems kind of unfair to present Mitt Romney statements as though they in any way reflected the things that Mitt Romney believes. Even Arianna Huffington called the ad "despicable" which is really bad. Or really complimentary. Possibly both?
Obviously, Romney could not let a slight like this go unanswered, so he pulled off one of his silken gloves and slapped Obama across the face with this statement…
Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Terrorism