You know, a whole lot of people really jumped all over the media for immediately assuming that the awful awful awful terrorist attacks in Norway this past weekend were the work of an Islamic extremist organization like al Qaeda before knowing all the facts.
However, I'm assuming that most of those people are Islamic extremists, and I don't think we should be paying attention to the opinions of terrorists…
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.
Tags: al Qaeda, Christianity, Islam, Norway, Religion, Stephen Colbert, Terrorism, The Colbert Report, Video, Wall Street Journal
After U.S. forces invading Osama bin Laden's suburban fortress, documents were found — amongst his porn collection — that seemed to indicate that the terrorist leader was seeking to "rebrand the organisation and make it more attractive to potential recruits."
The New Yorker's Ben Greenman appears to have uncovered some additional documents — or brainstorming notes from an international marketing firm — that show where the terrorist organization may had been moving had its top man not been taken down…
1. aQ: The Al Qaeda name may not be doing everything you want, but its international name recognition is huge. It tests out higher than almost any other brand, corporate or personal; it’s in the same neighborhood as Coca-Cola, Nike, and Shaq. So how about a simple streamline? aQ would retain the connection with Al Qaeda while introducing a sense of high design and elegance. And I can already see the campaign: “Q: aQ? A: aQ!”
2. Terrora: Extensive market research on pills and cars has shown decisively that the soft vowel ending greatly increases trust. I assume that’s why you selected Al Qaeda in the first place. So let’s stick with that but emphasize to a much greater extent what you do—which is, let’s be frank, terrorism. Like it or not, English is still the world’s principal language where corporate identities are concerned.
Tags: Advertising, al Qaeda, New Yorker, Osama bin Laden, Terrorism
Is there any problem that a halfway decent conspiracy theory can't fix? Probably not. Just ask the cryogenically frozen brains of founding fathers George Washington and Ronald Reagan. (Oh, you doubt that Reagan was present at our nation's founding? Then what did he use his time machine for, smart guy?)
Coverage continues with Resident Expert John Hodgman and his big brain after the jump.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: al Qaeda, CIA, Conspiracies, Indonesia, John Hodgman, John Kerry, Jon Stewart, Military, Osama bin Laden, Pakistan, Spying, The Daily Show, Video
George W. Bush on what he was doing when he learned that the U.S. had finally tracked down Osama bin Laden…
"I was eating souffle at Rise Restaurant with Laura and two buddies."
Is it legal in Texas to use the words "souffle" and "buddies" in the same sentence?
Tags: al Qaeda, Food, George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden, Quote Unquote, Terrorism
* Look, everybody knows that Koreans and Jews are pretty much the same thing, which probably explains the preponderance of gochujang references in stand-up comedy. Nŏ-mu cho-a-yo!
* Taliban embraces Twitter as tool in continuing effort to better halt the influence of Western Society.
* Say what you will about Osama bin Laden, but the guy knew how to size up the value of a political leader.
Tags: Afghanistan, al Qaeda, Health Care, Islam, Jewish, Joe Biden, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Religion, Science & Technology, Taliban, Terrorism, Twitter