It's no secret that Tuesday saw some big GOP primary shakeups, if you understand the word "shakeup" to mean — as I do — that everything went more or less predictably.
In other words, Santorum topped the polls in deeply conservative Alabama and Mississippi, whereas Romney won in the notoriously liberal, apparently-eligible-to-vote Pacific islands of American Samoa and Hawaii.
Which leads me to wonder, which elections were more important? Let's see how they stack up…
Tags: Alabama, American Samoa, Hawaii, Head-to-Head, Mississippi, Primaries, Republicans
If you saw Newt Gingrich's proud, loud and unbowed victory(?) speech last night following his two second-place showings in Alabama and Mississippi, then you know that he is planning to fight to the death (or at least the death of his party), that he is never giving up, that he is never dropping out, that he is unstoppable!
In other news, he might maybe drop out of the race if Rick Santorum could possibly see his way toward giving Gingrich a place on the ticket…
A senior adviser to Newt Gingrich told The Huffington Post Tuesday night the campaign likes the idea of Rick Santorum and Gingrich running on the same ticket for the presidency and vice presidency.
"Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum would make a powerful team against Barack Obama," the adviser said on the condition that his name not be used. "They have the capability to deny Gov. Romney the nomination."
So, what do you say, Mr. Santorum? Could you spare a vice-presidential nomination for an old disgraced Speaker of the House? He'll work for minimum wage plus photo ops. And he'd probably be willing to run errands like picking up your weekly Tiffany's order and shining your forehead?
No? Not interested? Well, then he will destroy you! (Offer's on the table.)
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Alabama, Mississippi, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Veepstakes
Rick Santorum won Mississippi and Alabama last night, while Mitt Romney finished third — third! — behind Newt Gingrich. But there was some good news for Mitt. For one thing, he can stop pretending to love grits.
For another, he won both American Samoa and unAmerican Samoa, which is what I believe we've been calling Hawaii since it delivered an overwhelming majority for Barack Obama. Though some delegates remain unallocated, the overall picture is clear:
Mississippi Alabama Hawaii American Samoa Mitt Romney 30.3% (12 del.) 29% (11 del.) 45.4% (9 del.) 9 delegates Rick Santorum 32.9% (13) 34.5% (18) 25.3% (4) (0) Newt Gingrich 31.3% (12) 29.3% (12) 18.3% (0) (0) Ron Paul 4.4% (0) 5% (0) 11% (1) (0)
Though Santorum and Gingrich took thousands of more popular votes than Romney last night, the "front runner," whose increasingly hilarious path to the convention is now paved with Pacific atolls, actually won the most delegates.
So while Santorum relies on "enthusiasm" and "narrative," Romney is relying on math. No wonder he lost Mississippi.
Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Alabama, American Samoa, Hawaii, Mississippi, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul
Rick Santorum often faces charges of being anti-woman. From his stance on birth control and abortion to his comments about stay-at-home moms, Santorum seems like he would be happy if all women were just barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.
But he says he's not waging a war on women. Really. Just take it from his pal, Rush Limbaugh…
Santorum's Alabama mailer features upbeat quotes about him from Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Malkin, Mike Huckabee and Sarah Palin…
Limbaugh, who has been at the center of the last month's political firestorm over contraception, is quoted saying: "I know that if Rick Santorum were elected president, I wouldn't have one doubt any day what he would be fighting for, not one. And it would be great if he could get there."
Everyone knows there's no better way to quell accusations of misogyny than praise from the world's most famous misogynist.
If Santorum's ever accused of racism again, he can just get an endorsement from David Duke. If voters say he doesn't care about the poor, he can do a photo op with Donald Trump. And when people attack him for homophobia again, he can just tweet a flattering quote from himself.
Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Alabama, Men and Women, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Rush Limbaugh, Women's Rights