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Alan Grayson
  • Is "Alan Grayson Is Nuts" Nuts?

    alan-grayson-vertAlan "Die Quickly" Grayson is so good at the internet, you'd be forgiven for thinking he's a Republican. Nope, he's a Democrat, and according to this other awesome website he owns — — Alan Grayson is "a Congressman with guts," which means you should give him a "money bomb." Um, ew?

    A number of Floridians think Alan Grayson is nuts. A number of Floridians have access to the internet, just like Alan Grayson. And the point where these groups intersect is called, the website for all your "Floridians outraged and embarrassed about Alan Grayson's leftist positions and childish behavior" needs.

    Which means someone's throwing a tantrum

    [T]he freshman Democrat has asked that U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder investigate the Lake County activist who started the anti-Grayson website His four-page complaint highlights the fact that the Clermont resident lives outside his district, but that Langley still uses the term "my" in ""

    "Ms. Langley has deliberately masqueraded as a constituent of mine, in order to try to create the false appearance that she speaks for constituents who dont support me," writes Grayson. "[She] has chosen a name for her committee that is utterly tasteless and juvenile."

    Grayson's office did not respond with comment other than to confirm the letter exists — including its request that Langley be fined and "imprisoned for five years."

    Sure, it is juvenile to pose as one of Grayson's constituents for the sole purpose of attacking him. Utterly tasteless? You tell me.

    At any rate, I'm sure this can be resolved without criminal proceedings. The URL seems to be available.

    Tags: Alan Grayson, Democrats, Florida, House of Representatives, Internet
  • O'Reilly Factor Paparazzis Alan Grayson to Prove How Much of a Real News Channel Fox Is

    Okay, here's your problem. You've got this 24-hour cable news channel that lots of people have been criticizing as being less news-y and more entertainment-ish. What do you do?

    That's right. Sneak attack a U.S. congressperson who has been critical of you, TMZ-style…

    Problem solved.

    Tags: Alan Grayson, Bill O'Reilly, Fox, House of Representatives
  • If Alan Grayson Hasn't Offended You Yet, You're on His Agenda for Tomorrow

    alan-graysonFirst Rep. Alan Grayson, Democrat of Florida, offended Republicans by becoming that "die quickly" guy. Then, in the midst of his apology for this remark, Rep. Grayson offended Jewish groups by referring to the health care crisis as a "holocaust in America." Rep. Grayson was last seen offending just about everyone else with this website.

    Which brings us to yesterday, when somebody reached deep into the bowels of the internet and discovered Rep. Grayson's appearance on a radio program last month. Somehow the conversation shifted to Linda Robertson, a senior adviser at the Federal Reserve, and that's when things got out of control

    "This lobbyist, this K Street whore, is trying to teach me about economics," Mr. Grayson fumed in a segment for a radio program hosted by Alex Jones on the Genesis Communications Network.

    "This K Street whore is trying to teach me about economics," Mr. Jones repeated back to the congressman. "Who was that particular K Street whore?"

    "I don't remember her name," Mr. Grayson, who once worked as an economist and conveyed he did not feel Ms. Robertson was qualified to lecture Congress on financial matters, said.

    Ms. Robertson has yet to respond, but she's probably quite offended. As far as I know she's the only K Street whore working for the Fed, so you'd think Rep. Grayson could remember her name on air.

    Tags: Alan Grayson, Economy, Enron, Federal Reserve, Lobbyists
  • Grisly New Website from the "Die Quickly" Guy

    Having exhausted the potential of posterboard, Rep. Alan Grayson — the Florida Democrat who civilly suggested that Republicans would like you to die in a brisk fashion, instead of lollygagging — has shifted his attention here, to the internet. It's where politics belongs!

    So if you or someone you know has died (at any speed) because of a lack of health insurance, you may visit Alan Grayson's new Names of the Dead website, type in that info, click submit and then check out the links to Rep. Grayson's speeches on YouTube, to assuage your grief.

    Oh boy. This should go over like a lead balloon with a nonexistent child in it

    The National Republican Congressional Committee slammed Grayson Wednesday over the new site.

    "What is wrong with this man?" NRCC spokesman Andy Sere said in a statement e-mailed to CNN. "Alan Grayson's morbid exploitation of 'the dead' for personal political gain may be the most shameless stunt he's pulled yet."

    The NRCC has a point, of course. Nothing is more shameless than exploiting the dead* for personal political gains, and I'm sure Republicans will fume real hard about this while they festoon their suits with yellow ribbons and instruct their handlers to pose them next to more dead soldiers' moms.

    * Notice that Andy Sere typed 'the dead' in skeptic's quotes. How do we have any way of knowing these people really are dead? They could be asleep, or faking, in an effort to advance the Democratic agenda.

    Tags: Alan Grayson, Florida, Health Care, House of Representatives, Internet
  • Alan Grayson's Heartfelt Apology to All You Dead People (You Know Who You Are)

    I don't know if you remember a thing called "yesterday," but it's this period of time in a person's life that's typically a lot less sad and lonely and boring than what we call "today" and waaaaaayy less awesome than that "tomorrow" thing we're all waiting for.

    But I digress.

    Anyway, remember how, in this "yesterday" thing, I wrote a pretty okay post that I didn't hate myself for having written (Ah, remember when I wasn't a talentless hack? Sigh.) about how Democratic congressperson from Florida, Alan Grayson, went the full Glenn Beck and — with placards on the House floor — accused the Republican Party of trying to kill everyone in America? And how the GOP leadership was demanding an apology? Remember that?

    Well, he apologized…

    That's a pretty okay apology. I think I liked it. It wasn't nearly as Glenn Beck-y as his first speech.

    Of course, this all happened yesterday. Nothing good like that ever happens today. (But I've got a good feeling about tomorrow.)

    Tags: Alan Grayson, Florida, Health Care, House of Representatives