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Profiling the Personality Types of the Super Tuesday States
When attempting to predict the outcome of a huge primary day like today, it may be useful to create personality profiles for each of the states voting. Obviously, each of the states in this union has its own unique foibles and singular peccadilloes, and each of those differences will play into the candidate they ultimately chose.With that in mind, I — armed with a half-completed semester of Psychology 101 — decided it fitting to profile each of the Super Tuesday states according to the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, developed by Dr. Carl Jung and used by psychologists and stalkers the world over. I hope you find this enlightening and helpful in your own predictions…
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Vermont
ISFJ (introversion, sensing, feeling, judgment)Quiet, people-oriented and kind-hearted, Vermont tends to put the needs of other above those of itself, which probably goes a long way toward explaining the smell of its citizens. Those people do realize that those crystal deodorant stick-things don't actually work, don't they? And, also, come on, get a real car. Do they still even make parts for VW buses?
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Tennessee
ISFP (introversion, sensing, feeling, perception)Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Unless you're not like them, in which case, get out. Seriously, out. That gun on the wall is not for show. Tennessee is not interested in leading others, except maybe to the state line. This state tends to have a "Live and Let Live" attitude, just so long as you do it nowhere near them. Enjoy your life, but way over there.
Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Science & Technology, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia -
Super Tuesday Predictions: Place Your Bets Now
Ilya Gerner: I believe the trees will be the right height in Massachusetts, Virginia, Vermont, Alaska, Idaho, North Dakota and even Ohio. Too many slight dogwoods in the other states for Mitt Romney to do well. Also, too many Evangelicals.Jess Dweck: Mitt Romney will win Massachusetts, Virginia and Vermont, while Rick Santorum will take Tennessee, Oklahoma and any other state that has more people than teeth. Newt Gingrich will be elected Moon President of Georgia.
Dan Poppy: Rick Santorum will win big in Oklahoma, confirming once and for all that Okies have never used Google. Mitt Romney will be genuinely surprised that there are people who like him. Ron Paul will burst into a thousand gold doubloons when a supporter slaps him on the back to congratulate him for winning Alaska. Newt Gingrich will be insufferable.
More predictions after the jump…
Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia -
Super Tuesday Liveblog: Tue. 3/6, 7pm ET
Join us here and @indecision on Super Tuesday, 3/6 at 7pm ET, as Georgianians, Idahoers, North Dakotacs, Ohioles, Tennesseers, Vermontians, Virginnies, Alaskars and the Red Sox Nation cast their votes in high school gymnasiums and elementary school gymnasiums and other gymnasiums and laundromats (pictured). We'll keep going until all the results are in or until we fall asleep.
Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Liveblog, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia -
Congress Approves Oil Drilling to Improve Sex Lives of Caribou
Yesterday, in a 237-187 vote, the House of Representatives approved approved a chiefly Republican-backed plan to authorize the Keystone XL pipeline, expand drilling offshore and open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to exploration.
The "idea" is that drilling will reduce the price of gas and heating oil for American consumers. However, because I love Indecision readers, I made the above graph using data from the U.S. Energy Information Administration to illustrate why this stupidity can't possibly be the underlying motivation for this legislation. The graph tracks vehicle gasoline prices (taxes included) across several countries and lo and behold, spikes and declines happen at the same time, at roughly the same magnitude, in every surveyed nation. Almost as if there's some underlying factor, independent of each country's policy that determines price changes: the global price of sweet, beautiful crude.
Since the price of oil is set on global commodity markets, increasing the supply of Alaskan crude will impact prices in France as much as it will in the United States. And do we really want to despoil the American environment in order to lower French energy prices, when their country is already so efficiently powered by condescension and loathing (not to mention nuclear fission)? No, we do not.
So why are we doing this? Possibly, because there once was a man from Alaska/his colleagues wanted to shut him up faster…
Tags: Alaska, Animals, Conservatives, Don Young, Energy & Oil, Environment, House of Representatives, Louie Gohmert, Poetry, Republicans
