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Alcohol
  • From the Pork Barrel: Tastes Great, Less Socialist

    * Is your choice of beer destroying America? Probably. Especially if you choice of blog-reading material is any indication.

    * The way I see it, we're about a week away from Mitt Romney going onto Neil Cavuto and claiming to be George W. Bush.

    * Finally! Republicans have proof of voter fraud in Florida. Just not the kind they wanted.

    * In an apparent attempt to stimulate the base and get young people to feel involved and get excited to go out and vote, Barack Obama is organizing 3,200 debate-watching parties across the nation. That's one party for every young person who is expected to vote.

    * Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as Paul Ryan lets his Rand flag fly this weekend on Fox News Sunday at 10 a.m.

    Photo by Joshua Roberts/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Alcohol, Barack Obama, Debates, Florida, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Polls, Pork Barrel, Republicans, Voter Fraud
  • The Most Interesting Fundraiser in the World

    Jonathan Goldsmith, the actor who plays "The most interesting man in the world" in Dos Equis ads, doesn't always host money for fundraisers for politicians. But when he does, they're for Barack Obama.

    Goldsmith is scheduled to host a fundraiser for the Obama Victory Fund next Tuesday in Burlington, Vermont, along with the Speaker of the VT House.

    Even before this fundraiser, the campaign had moved from hope to hops. From beer giveaways  to promises of future beer summits, Obama is desperate for the Joe Sixpack vote. In fact, there's a relationship between beer connoisseurship and support for the president. Remarkably, ff the 25 states with the highest concentration of craft breweries, all 25 voted for Obama in the 2008 election.

    So it's not the case that Obama supporters have only drank the Kool-Aid. They've also downed quite a bit of beer.

    Photo by Glenn Francis/Wikimedia Commons


    Tags: Alcohol, Barack Obama, Fundraising, Vermont
  • Barack Obama Now Bribing Voters with Beer

    Not making much headway with grassroots organizing and television ads, Barack Obama has moved on to straight-up bribing American voters. First, it was the great ice cream giveaway in New Hampshire. Now comes the Iowa Fair beer buyoff…

    Obama spent roughly an hour at the fair, making his way past various stands, including Ginnie Smith's Gourmet Mini Cinnamon Rolls, where he declined to try the baked goods. "I'm saving my space for pork chop on a stick," the president was heard saying.

    Later, he also passed on a smoothie, reportedly saying the healthy drink "sounds OK, but a beer sounds better."

    When he made it to the beer stand, Obama pronounced "Bud Lights all around on me," to cheers and laughter from the crowd.

    After checking his wallet, he offered to buy 10 beers for 10 people and chants of "Four More Years" quickly morphed into a chorus of "Four More Beers."

    At least the affinity for beer and pork on a stick gives lie to claims that the president is a closet Muslim, though it doesn't obviate the possibility that he's a rain god. Yet there's something amiss about the way ABC News transcribed this story. According to the pool report, President Obama said, "I'll tell you what, except for Romney sign, I'll buy beers for ten people."

    Meaning, no matter how much ABC tries to cover this up, he's going to have to reconcile with this offended Romney voter in a White House beer summit.

    Unfortunately for his campaign, the president has been peddling these bribes in all the wrong order. If he had led with free ice cream and beer, universally-diabetic Americans would have been way more receptive when he offered them universal healthcare.

    Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Alcohol, Barack Obama, Food, Iowa
  • Meet John Bryson, Secretary of Commerce and Felony Suspect

    Good morning, America. Did you know you had a Commerce Secretary named John Bryson? I was under the vague impression that this cabinet post was occupied by Token Asian-American Guy, but it turns out Gary Locke has been ably serving as Ambassador to China since August 2011, while Bryson has led our least notable federal agency since receiving Senate confirmation in October of last year.

    Why are we learning about the existence of Bryson just now? I'm sure it has something to do with his stewardship of the  National Institutes of Standards and Technology and the Bureau of Economic Analysis…

    Bryson was driving a Lexus in the 400 block of South San Gabriel Boulevard shortly after 5 p.m. Saturday, when he allegedly rear-ended a Buick as it was waiting for a train to pass, according to a statement released by the L.A. County Sheriff's Department and the San Gabriel Police Department.

    After briefly stopping to talk to the three men inside the Buick, Bryson left the location in the Lexus and then struck the Buick a second time, authorities said. The men followed Bryson's car and called 911 to ask for police assistance.

    C'mon, reality. The Tonys are over. I expect this kind of didactic nonsense from Broadway producers, maybe Hollywood on its bad days, but real-world symbolism requires a little more nuance than an Obama Commerce Secretary crashing his Japanese-made car into an American Buick, just as the economic news is dominated by coverage of a slowdown in jobs growth…

    Bryson continued to drive his Lexus into Rosemead, which is patrolled by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. There, he allegedly crashed into a second vehicle near the intersection of San Gabriel Boulevard and Hellman Avenue.

    There authorities found him alone and unconscious behind the wheel of his car.

    That's a hit and run, and a hit. Somewhere, a hack screenplay writer is readying a copyright lawsuit, which might work were it not for the Commerce Department's purview over the Patent and Trademark Office.

    Despite a clean Breathalyzer result and suspicions that the crash was the result of a medical condition, drugs and alcohol have yet to be ruled out as causes, because considering the travails of previous Obama Commerce nominees, Bill Richardson and Judd Gregg, and the nature of the job, it would take some pretty serious stuff to convince anyone that this was a position worth accepting.

    UPDATE, 10:00 Eastern: According to a statement from the Department of Commerce, Bryson suffered a seizure in connection with the above incident. We hope he's well.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Alcohol, Crime, Department of Commerce, John Bryson