Now, some people may call Alvin Greene a loser for only getting 28 percent of the vote in his campaign to unseat South Carolina Sen. Jim Demint, but I call him a what the hell he got a whole 28 percent of the vote how the hell did that happen?!?! And, in some way, that's better than being a senator. Because now he doesn't have to sit near John Cornyn and have to breath in that weird cheese doodle smell all day long.
Here is the man who would (never ever ever) be senator on the last night of his historic campaign…
Alvin Greenes will be Alvin Greenes forever!
(via This Week in Blackness)
Tags: Alvin Greene, Election Day, Midterms, Senate, South Carolina
Last night, The Daily Show was broadcast live to cover the midterm election results. It was great, but some of you might have missed it. Maybe you're a Democrat, in which case you were too busy trying to convince everyone that you just have some dust in your eye. Or maybe you're a Republican, in which case you were too busy doing whatever it is one does to prepare for the abolition of the estate tax. In any case, here's a little of what you missed.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Alvin Greene, Jason Jones, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Midterms, Olivia Munn, The Daily Show, Video
A lesser political figure might decide that it's time to throw in the campaign towel after "indicted on a felony obscenity charge for showing pornography to a college student last November." But Alvin Greene — South Carolina Democrats' inspired choice of senatorial candidates — is no lesser political figure. He's a lesser political genius!
He deeply understands, in the pit of his soul, that most basic of basic truths about politics: When life hands you lemons, howl "Noooooooooooo!!!" at the top of your lungs until the lemons get back in their news truck and leave you alone…
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" — Darth Vader (and also Alvin Greene)
It's not quite as eloquent as Abraham Lincoln's "better angels of our nature" or John Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you," but it's considerably louder.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Alvin Greene, Crime, Democrats, John Kennedy, Porn, Senate, South Carolina
South Carolinian Democratic senatorial candidate Alvin Greene on his idea for stimulating the economy…
"Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That's something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It's not something a typical person would bring up. That's something that could happen, that makes sense. It's not a joke."
That's something that could happen, that makes sense. It's not a joke.
Tags: Alvin Greene, Economy, Quote Unquote, Senate, South Carolina, Toys & Games
South Carolina Democrats — unhappy that their candidate of choice for the senatorial race in November's general election was so lame and unremarkable that he was beat by some guy who did zero campaigning and can barely talk simply because his name is similar to a someone else who sings pleasantly — want just one more chance to win the nomination.
Maybe best out of three? It only seems fair…
The [South Carolina Democratic executive] committee on Thursday will hear from Vic Rawl, whom the unknown, unemployed Greene defeated in last week’s primary, on allegations of faulty voting machines. It has the authority to call for a new election, according to the South Carolina Election Commission…
His story, though, has brought enough embarrassment to the Democratic Party — and to the entire state — that the committee could feel compelled to call for a new election, whether Rawl’s protest yields conclusive evidence or not, said Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virgina's Center for Politics.
Apparently, the establishment candidate has learned his lesson, and is prepared to do what it takes to convince South Carolina voters that he's a preferable candidate to Alvin Greene. For example, here's a selection from his new campaign materials…
Tags: Alvin Greene, Music, Primaries, Senate, South Carolina