Have you noticed that newly-nominated senatorial candidate Alvin Greene's name sounds somewhat like 1970s gospel and soul singer Reverend Al Green? No, I didn't either. I guess we're just not as sharp as those Democratic voters down in South Carolina. 'Cause they, apparently, were all over that shit…
As much as I'd like to make fun of this lady, I really can't. I've been there. You see, I'm kind of ashamed to admit it now, but back in '92, I voted for Ross Perot. Because he reminded me of a Jawa.
And then, when I voted for Perot again in '96, I was really into Tales from the Crypt at the time, and he had a kind of a Crypt Keeper thing going on with his face. Then in 2000, even though he wasn't running, I voted for him as a write-in candidate because I was hungry and he reminded me of a Slim Jim. In '04, I voted for Ralph Nader because he reminded me of Ross Perot. And then in '08, I wrote-in voted for Perot again because his name is vaguely similar to 1970s gospel and soul singer Reverend Al Green. In 2012, I'm planning to grow a porn 'stache and vote for him in a kind of ironic, hipster anti-vote kind of way.
But, really, I feel terrible about it.
Tags: Alvin Greene, Music, Ross Perot, Senate, South Carolina
By now you've heard about the out-of-nowhere victory by unknown candidate Alvin Greene in the South Carolina Democratic Senate primary. A lot of folks are claiming Greene is some sort of GOP plant, but if you look closely, he's got all the earmarks of a great Democrat. He's got the charisma of Joe Lieberman, the integrity of Rod Blagojevich and the fresh ideas of Franklin Roosevelt (now).
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Tags: Alvin Greene, James Clyburn, Jim DeMint, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Senate, South Carolina, The Daily Show, Video
Alvin Greene proves that you don't need party-support to win a primary.
Alvin Greene also proves that you don't need candidate-support to win a primary. He seems to be getting along just fine without himself…
Tags: Alvin Greene, Democrats, James Clyburn, Keith Olbermann, MSNBC, Primaries, South Carolina
* Gresham Barrett — S.C. candidate for GOP gubernatorial nomination — swears to be "Christian family man who won't embarrass us." Hey, I'd forgotten Christian family men came in that variety?
* Why was Glenn Beck Goes to Harlem never aired! We demand, under the Freedom of Infotainment Act, that it be released to the public at once.
* John McCain calls upon the White House to acquiesce and support a regime change. And also something about Iran.
* Congressional Democrats behaving like Democrats, which is to say, like Republicans.
* Turns out unknown S.C. Democratic senatorial nominee and possible sex-offender Alvin Greene is so far outside the Party mainstream, he's taxonomically not even in the Animal Kingdom. (You'd think a thing like that would disqualify a guy for Congress. But, don't forget Tom DeLay was technically a slime mold.)
Tags: Alvin Greene, Democrats, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Iran, John McCain, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, New York City, Pork Barrel, Religion, Republicans, South Carolina