Are Gay Wedding Songs Responsible for the End Times?

As with almost every headline that asks a question, the answer is no. But in an interview with the American Family Association, Pastor Scott Lively claimed that homosexuality, and specifically the music produced for gay weddings,  "is the issue of the End Times."

Obvious objection interlude: Why should we dedicate even a single brain cell to caring what the crazies on American Family Radio are talking about?

Because members of Congress pay attention to the radio crazies, a fact that happens to be a much stronger sign of fallen humanity than the advance of gay rights. Utah Senator Mike Lee appeared on AFR late last year to denounce a U.N. disability rights treaty and Senator Roger Wicker of Mississippi has been a guest multiple times.

In any case, it's nice of the radio crazies to get specific about what facets of gay culture will incur God's wrath:

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Tags: American Family Association, LGBT, Marriage, Marriage Equality

One Million Moms Hates Ellen DeGeneres, Especially at Christmas

(Considerably Fewer Than) One Million Moms, a division of the American Family Association that's as good at homophobia as it is bad at counting, released a statement calling for another boycott of JCPenney over the retailer's partnership with sneaker-wearing human Ellen DeGeneres.

"Since April, JC Penney's has not aired Ellen DeGeneres in one of their commercials until now. A new JCP ad features Ellen and three elves. JCP has made their choice to offend a huge majority of their customers again. Christians must now vote with their wallets."

Three elves! Perhaps Twenty Thousand Moms Rounded Up To the Nearest One Million isn't an awful group of bigots that rejects contemporary life, but an organization with a strange hatred of elves?

The mention of the DeGeneres ad appeared on the group's website after a warning about the Victoria's Secret fashion show and before one about Urban Outfitters selling sweaters with an expletive on them.

No, they just hate everything.

Photo by Theo Wargo/WireImage/Getty Images

Tags: American Family Association, Christmas, LGBT

Social Conservatives Still Not Taking the Gay Marriage Thing Very Well

Earlier this week it was revealed that the Democratic Party will, for the first time, include a plank supporting marriage equality in its official platform at the upcoming convention in Charlotte.

From this we learned that, one, "official party platforms" are still things that technically exist. And two, at least within the Democratic Party, support for gay marriage is quickly becoming an uncontroversial position. The 15 members of the platform committee who met in Minneapolis over the weekend gave their unanimous assent to the equality plank, while a new Pew research poll showed 65% of Democrats now supporting marriage equality, as compared to just 50% of Democrats who favored allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally in 2008.

Still, it would not be politics if a few creeps didn't gather round the old glory hole and complain about other people being happy. The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer, for one, sounded the death knell for the Democratic Party…

Rarely can you identify a moment in time at which a major political party sealed its own doom and relegated itself to the ash heap of history. Today is that day for the Democratic Party.

The party of Thomas Jefferson, who once wrote a law calling for the castration of those who committed the infamous crime against nature, has now enshrined sodomy-based marriage in its party platform.

Jefferson must be rolling over in his personal parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence, which celebrates the unalienable, God-given right to liberty, not licentiousness.

I don't know, if the gays have torn up the Democratic Party, they've also done a hell of a job refurbishing it. All these new pastels are really bringing out the equality and basic fairness in the room.

Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: American Family Association, Bryan Fischer, LGBT, Marriage Equality

Ron Paul Wins Values Voter Summit Straw Poll Despite Having Some Admirable Values

A committed Christian and staunch pro-life advocate, Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul garnered a first-place showing at the Values Voter Summit straw poll, winning 37% of the vote and trouncing Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann.

To which Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council and organizer of the straw poll, had the only reasonable response: the guy who won most votes among Values Voter Summit attendees is obviously not the real choice of "values" voters…

"I don't think Ron Paul is truly reflective of where values voters stand," said Perkins on CNN's American Morning on Monday.

Perkins described the Texas congressman's top place finish in the poll as an "outlier."

"Ron Paul bused in over 600 people not to attend the conference but to hear his speech and vote," he said. "I give them credit for being organized."

Maybe the president of a designated hate group — and who better to judge values? — is right. After all, Paul's speech focused on war as the greatest threat to family life and invoked the Golden Rule in describing the ideal foreign policy. And every real "values" voter knows the real threat to family values comes from…committed, loving relationships formed by gay couples. Cue Bryan Fischer, president of the American Family Association, who also spoke at the Summit…

We need a president who will treat homosexuality not as a political cause at all, but as a threat to public health…Homosexual behavior represents the same threat to human health that injection drug use does. I believe we need a president who understands that neither homosexual behavior nor injection drug use represent lifestyles that any responsible government ought to normalize, legitimize, legalize, protect, sanction, or subsidize.

Well then. It's possible that the views of Ron Paul's supporters are not "truly reflective" of what many regular Summit attendees believe, but I'm pretty sure I know which group has the better values.

Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: American Family Association, Bryan Fischer, Family Research Council, Ron Paul, Tony Perkins, Values Voter Summit

From the Pork Barrel: Michele Bachmann on Education

* Michele Bachmann delivers an inspirational Back to School message to our nations students suffering under the yoke of our state-run education system.

* The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer loves those obnoxious, needy, abominations-before-God gay people so so much.

* Professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahaon not giving up on her quest to restore dignity to the U.S. Senate.

* Sen. David Vitter forced into attending President's jobs speech as though he were a U.S. senator.

* President Obama gives liberals their opinions about jobs speech a few hours early.

* Did Rick Perry point his finger at Ron Paul last night in an untoward manner?

Tags: American Family Association, Barack Obama, Bryan Fischer, David Vitter, Debates, Education, LGBT, Linda McMahon, Michele Bachmann, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Sara Benincasa, Senate, Sports, Unemployment, Wrestling