Remember, it was the troops who got Bin Laden, not Obama. Unlike the way George Washington singlehandedly strangled the whole British Army.
— JRehling (@JRehling) June 20, 2012
Tags: American Revolution, Barack Obama, George Washington, Osama bin Laden, Tweet Untweet, Twitter
Today, on this beloved American holiday — when we celebrate the 11,000 loyal patriots who perished on British prison ships during the Revolutionary War — here's hoping you have a festively tall Evacuation Day pole on which to climb.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, American Revolution, Jon Stewart, New York City, Sarah Vowell, Thanksgiving, The Daily Show, United Kingdom, Video
* Obama could improve his ratings with a little elbow… to the face! From the Onion.
* Comedians James Adomian and Trey Galyon live from Occupy Wall Street on the "Fawkes News" podcast.
* "SolyndraGatePocalypse" from animator Mark Fiore.
* Rick Perry knows the word "onerous" but not when the American Revolution happened, from HuffPoComedy and Twitter.
* Pros and Cons of watching the GOP debate, from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.
* Woody Guthrie, Lee Greenwood, and now, Eli Braden.
Tags: American Revolution, Banks, Barack Obama, Daily Links, Debates, Education, Guy Fawkes, Jimmy Fallon, Occupy Wall Street, Republicans, Rick Perry, Solyndra, Texas, Twitter
Last week, everybody was talking about Sarah Palin's unique take on American history in her recounting of Paul Revere's ride, which was supposedly intended to warn the British that the colonialists were going to beat their asses.
Even Fox News jumped into the fray and asked her about it, giving her a chance to hold fast to her story (which is all that any of us can really even ask for — who among us has use for a Sarah Palin who admits to mistakes)…
"You realize that you messed up about Paul Revere, don't you?" "Fox News Sunday" anchor Chris Wallace asked the potential 2012 presidential candidate.
"I didn't mess up about Paul Revere," replied Palin, a paid contributor to the network. "Part of his ride was to warn the British that were already there. That, hey, you're not going to succeed. You're not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have," she added. "He did warn the British."
Well, here's the funny thing! Sarah Palin was right! Kind of. Maybe. If you look at it from a certain angle at a certain time of day through a particular kind of fabric.
The point is, you can definitely kind of massage the facts to sort of fit what Sarah Palin kind of said…
Boston University history professor Brendan McConville said, "Basically when Paul Revere was stopped by the British, he did say to them, 'Look, there is a mobilization going on that you'll be confronting,' and the British are aware as they're marching down the countryside, they hear church bells ringing — she was right about that — and warning shots being fired. That's accurate."
Patrick Leehey of the Paul Revere House said Revere was probably bluffing his British captors, but reluctantly conceded that it could be construed as Revere warning the British. "I suppose you could say that," Leehey said. "But I don’t know if that’s really what Mrs. Palin was referring to."
McConville said he also is not convinced that Palin's remarks reflect scholarship. "I would call her lucky in her comments," McConville said.
Yay! She accidentally said something right! Maybe one day when she's president, she'll accidentally do something right. And then maybe we might all accidentally not die.
Photo by Shekhar Yadav/India Today Group/Getty Images
Tags: American Revolution, Chris Wallace, Education, Founding Fathers, Fox, Paul Revere, Sarah Palin
You've probably heard by now how Sarah Palin really stuck it to the elite lamestream American History book industry by telling the real story of Paul Revere's midnight ride from Boston to Lexington and Concord…
"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."
Haha! Suck on that, history teachers! That's how you tell a story about this great land that is called America! You may say that that's pretty much the exact opposite of what actually happened in real life, but I say that you're a not-real American and a possible traitor (and maybe a future tenant of Gitmo).
You wanna see how to follow her lead? I'll show you. Pay attention, dorks. You might learn something…
The Boston Tea Party
So, there were a bunch of Indians who were really, um, gung-ho proud of America and were looking for you know, like, for a way to, um, help the Founding Fathers win the Civil War against the uh liberal Britishers. So, they threw a big shindig on a boat and at the end of the party, everybody, um, drank tea and threw a British person into the ocean. And that's how tea was invented.
Storming the Beach at Normandy
There were all these, ya know, good 'ol American soldiers sitting on a — what's that thing with all the sand and stuff? — a beach in Normandy, Missouri when Adolf Hitler and that guy Joseph Stalin and all their Nazi friends came in and, um, invaded and tried to, uh, give all the soldiers girlfriends abortions. Well, our boys weren't gonna put up with, ya know, that kind of hoo-ha, so they picked up their guns and shot all of them Nazis right in the face.
The 2008 Presidential Election
You see, there was this beautiful princess from the land of snow, and everybody in the land wanted her to, uh, be their queen. And then a, um, a, ya know, a valiant mavericky soldier said, hey uh, won't you please come with me and lead me and my nation into triumphant victory. And she said yes. Not for herself, but for, um, everybody who loved her, which was everybody. Except for some people who were, um, evil and mean and non-American. So, they, ya know, hired a dark servant to steal the princess' queen job away from her. And everybody cried forever. Amen.
Look, that's what all the history books are gonna say in a couple years anyway, so you might as well get used to it.
Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Tags: American Revolution, Paul Revere, Sarah Palin